I don’t want to make big life decisions I just want to die

[iridescent.darkness]

I've got a lot of big decisions to make in the next 2 months regarding my location, living, job etc and whatever I choose will have a huge impact on my life.

I don't want to choose. I want to die. I don't want to even think about 2022, never mind what job is going to give me a good pension in 50 years.

I wish I could just tell my family I want to die and I'm planning to die soon so I don't want to nor need to make any of these decisions.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is just constant stress. It is frustrating how we were forced here without choice and we have all these expectations placed on us. I want nothing to do with life, I just want to sleep forever. It is understandable not wanting to make decisions when you know you will not be here. I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[setup]

I would reach out to ur fam that ur stressed about all these changes and decisions and you need help. Don't say ur suicidal because I don't think u are. Ur just overwhelmed and sounds like u have a support system.

If not let's talk about it

 

[Painless_end]

I know how you feel, I was and still am in the same boat

 

[wanttodie]

me to i just want to die

 

[Zzzzz]

I'm in a similar situation. I have some Big decisions soon that I'd rather not make. It is very difficult that we cannot be honest about it all and must pretend because we don't have any other choice.

 

[Hyd999]

I want to ctb cus i hate my life. I hate being alive.

I didnt make any decisions about my living situation and here i am still living with my mom. Feel like a loser and feel im stuck.

Funny thing is i have my own business and make a LOT of money. I can afford my own place but not motivated enough cus life sucks so bad.

I spent so much time trying to grow my business...and did it successfully...only to realize my life is not happy and i got no friends cus i spent my 20s and 30s working and not having any fun. Now im 38 and want to kms so badly it sucks.

Yesterday my sales hit 4M for the 2021 year. Most ppl would be excited. Most ppl would be real excited. Me- could not stop thinking about ctb.

This realy sucks

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I want to ctb cus i hate my life. I hate being alive.

I didnt make any decisions about my living situation and here i am still living with my mom. Feel like a loser and feel im stuck.

Funny thing is i have my own business and make a LOT of money. I can afford my own place but not motivated enough cus life sucks so bad.

I spent so much time trying to grow my business...and did it successfully...only to realize my life is not happy and i got no friends cus i spent my 20s and 30s working and not having any fun. Now im 38 and want to kms so badly it sucks.

Yesterday my sales hit 4M for the 2021 year. Most ppl would be excited. Most ppl would be real excited. Me- could not stop thinking about ctb.

This realy sucks

Wow. That's fascinating. If I was making all that money there's no way on earth I would want end my life. But I'm sure you have your reasons. Is there anyway you can step away from your work and venture out into the world and explore?
There's so many amazing retreats you could indulge in where you could meet lots of fascinating people. I'm happy to point you in the right direction if you're interested.
You could start with Hoffman Institute.
I'm sure you've had lots of therapy.
Have you tried hallucinogenic mushrooms? There's really so many possibilities when you're able to afford it.
But I don't want to be presumptuous.
You must be going through a lot of pain if you're here.
And I'm sure you've tried all sorts of solutions. Anyway, here to help if I can.

 

[Sslsh]

I'm not mentally built to take decisions, be the centre of attention and so on. Stuff like this reinforces my decision to eventually ctb

 

[VKVK]

I've got a lot of big decisions to make in the next 2 months regarding my location, living, job etc and whatever I choose will have a huge impact on my life.

I don't want to choose. I want to die. I don't want to even think about 2022, never mind what job is going to give me a good pension in 50 years.

I wish I could just tell my family I want to die and I'm planning to die soon so I don't want to nor need to make any of these decisions.

Same boat OP... although I have a considerable amount of time more.

Every day is the same and I really can't do anything about it anymore. I've given up on taking decisions. My psychological state is completely shattered from trying to fix myself so much. I just want to rest. The kind of rest sleep won't fix.

 

[Hyd999]

Wow. That's fascinating. If I was making all that money there's no way on earth I would want end my life. But I'm sure you have your reasons. Is there anyway you can step away from your work and venture out into the world and explore?
There's so many amazing retreats you could indulge in where you could meet lots of fascinating people. I'm happy to point you in the right direction if you're interested.
You could start with Hoffman Institute.
I'm sure you've had lots of therapy.
Have you tried hallucinogenic mushrooms? There's really so many possibilities when you're able to afford it.
But I don't want to be presumptuous.
You must be going through a lot of pain if you're here.
And I'm sure you've tried all sorts of solutions. Anyway, here to help if I can.

Ur right i had lots of therapy. Seems like it helps but end of day i still got same problems.

I tried shrooms years ago at college but would it make me feel better doing them now by myself?

Id be intrested in info on retreats but prob dont have enough motivation to follow through. But cant hurt to try. Ty for the kind words

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Ur right i had lots of therapy. Seems like it helps but end of day i still got same problems.

I tried shrooms years ago at college but would it make me feel better doing them now by myself?

Id be intrested in info on retreats but prob dont have enough motivation to follow through. But cant hurt to try. Ty for the kind words

I would not do the mushrooms by yourself… At the very least you could hire a guide to be with you… Or you could do it in a group setting… But I would just do it with a private guide…

 

[setup]

I want to ctb cus i hate my life. I hate being alive.

I didnt make any decisions about my living situation and here i am still living with my mom. Feel like a loser and feel im stuck.

Funny thing is i have my own business and make a LOT of money. I can afford my own place but not motivated enough cus life sucks so bad.

I spent so much time trying to grow my business...and did it successfully...only to realize my life is not happy and i got no friends cus i spent my 20s and 30s working and not having any fun. Now im 38 and want to kms so badly it sucks.

Yesterday my sales hit 4M for the 2021 year. Most ppl would be excited. Most ppl would be real excited. Me- could not stop thinking about ctb.

This realy sucks

Hey. I'm just a guy in the internet, but I think medication can help you if u seek health. It's never too late to be happy. Not to mention what it would do to ur mom if you ctb

 

[Ashu]

I've got a lot of big decisions to make in the next 2 months regarding my location, living, job etc and whatever I choose will have a huge impact on my life.

I don't want to choose. I want to die. I don't want to even think about 2022, never mind what job is going to give me a good pension in 50 years.

I wish I could just tell my family I want to die and I'm planning to die soon so I don't want to nor need to make any of these decisions.

I totally get it. I face a huge imminent decision right now that will plunge me in more agony either way. I'm just not interested.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Same here. Lots of upcoming decisions over work and housing. It is just too much to handle on top of my health issues and constant suicidal thoughts.

The way I see it is I am going to die anyway. Why does it matter if it is now compared to 50 years down the road? At least this way I will be sparing myself from future pain and suffering.

 

[iridescent.darkness]

I would reach out to ur fam that ur stressed about all these changes and decisions and you need help. Don't say ur suicidal because I don't think u are. Ur just overwhelmed and sounds like u have a support system.

If not let's talk about it

i don't appreciate your assumptions or thoughts about my life tbh.

 

[iridescent.darkness]

Hey. I'm just a guy in the internet, but I think medication can help you if u seek health. It's never too late to be happy. Not to mention what it would do to ur mom if you ctb

tried medication and therapy plenty of times and it's never worked. my mum would be fine, less of a burden and something to give her attention

 

[setup]

T

tried medication and therapy plenty of times and it's never worked. my mum would be fine, less of a burden and something to give her attention

here has to be treatment you haven't tried. There are a lot of experimental and new therapies. LOL

At this age ur the ONLY thing that she prob really worried about. Bro this is a fact

 

[Ashu]

Hey. I'm just a guy in the internet, but I think medication can help you if u seek health. It's never too late to be happy. Not to mention what it would do to ur mom if you ctb

This sounds like the point of view of normalcy.

 

[setup]

This sounds like the point of view of normalcy.

It's hard to say with only the info given. Honestly I just hope people really think about it before deciding. If they decide to, it's their right.

The decisions we make often affect other people too so I just want people to consider

 

[TheHatedOne]

I relate to this. I have to decide soon whether I quit uni or not as Id have to do it before the upcoming exams. Its scary. Plus other related stuff regarding my future. Its too much, so many choices, so many problems to solve. thats all life is about, and then you die. im close to end it all soon, but im awaiting something important before.

 

[setup]

O

i don't appreciate your assumptions or thoughts about my life tbh.

k that's fair. I apologize if I offended you.

 

[Samsara]

Same, I don't have the energy, incentives, or motivation to change what's contributing to my suffering in life. In fact, I suspect the hollow loneliness will remain even if I were to make those changes. ctb seems like the easiest option assuming it is done correctly at this point