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liljeep

liljeep

wake up i know you can hear me
Jul 1, 2023
96
I have C-PTSD, DID, and BPD. all are diagnosed please no accusations

I have a lot of triggers that are super common, even simple things, and some extremely specific ones. Inevitably, something triggers me every day.

I'm not someone who mentions every time I am triggered, I try to just swallow it unless it's something reasonable enough to remember. Because of course the world and people, no matter how close they are to me, aren't going to bend this and that way just because things affect me specifically too much. I'm hypersensitive even when I'm not triggered, hypervigilant, and my opinions and feelings change so much I don't understand 'myself'. The 'me' I present to the world isn't how I think and I guess that could be said about everybody, but it's not normal. I don't know how to explain it, I'm just not me and I don't know if there is a me.

I am going to have these disorders for the rest of my life and it's too much to bare. There is no amount of time that makes the wounds less sensitive. There is no amount of 'recovery work' in therapy or through self-help that dulls the pain. All I had was drugs and I've been forced into sobriety, there is no way for me to get drugs where I am. Not through the mail, not through messaging people on social media and meeting up with them, nothing. There is nothing. I have nothing, I am nothing.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,054
It must be really tiring suffering like that, to me it's really understandable just wishing to be free from it all, but anyway best wishes.
 
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Reactions: liljeep
day

day

Global Mod
Jun 24, 2023
646
Sorry to hear that you're suffering from so much OP… you don't deserve that at all. The world is so disgusting to those who didn't do anything wrong.. I hope you find peace OP. I wish you well.
 
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Eternal🌈Rainbow

Eternal🌈Rainbow

♡ ✨ ♡ 🌸 ♡ 💖 ♡ 🌈 ♡
Apr 2, 2022
240
Sorry for all that you're suffering, I relate to almost everything you said. About the triggers, feelings, hypersensitivity, that sense of hopelessness... I hope that makes you feel some kind of comfort and supported. A big hug for you 💗💞
 
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Reactions: liljeep and saddestbunny
saddestbunny

saddestbunny

pastebin.com/xJuaSE0j
Feb 16, 2023
202
I'm so sorry you feel the same

this is what people don't get is even when you do everything perfectly in your life your brain is still broken
 
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Next

Next

Member
Jul 13, 2023
82
I feel so sorry about your Story. I do hope you will find here on SaSu some suitable support and hope.
 
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