Venting I don't want to live. But I am not suicidal or depressed

[retstardeda$$hole]

I can try to fix my issues but I still wish to die

Death seems the most attractive option to me, I dont want to keep living.

This system that is designed to make you function a certain way, I have to put in a great amount of effort just to mold myself to be the person that would function the best in this system.

I cant bear the thought of living like this for the next 60 years.

It might be autism combined with ADHD I don't fucking know. I just dont want to keep doing it.

 

[moriix]

I can try to fix my issues but I still wish to die

Death seems the most attractive option to me, I dont want to keep living.

This system that is designed to make you function a certain way, I have to put in a great amount of effort just to mold myself to be the person that would function the best in this system.

I cant bear the thought of living like this for the next 60 years.

It might be autism combined with ADHD I don't fucking know. I just dont want to keep doing it.

i can definitely relate to this. i have autism and ADHD too, it feels like the world was just not built for us masking takes so much effort, it just doesn't feel worth it. my special interests bring me a lot of joy but thats about it really

you say "might". have you been assessed for autism/ADHD? if that is currently a possibility for you, then i highly recommend it. adhd meds helped me a lot, and there's support you could access with a diagnosis. if that is not possible in your situation, there are a lot of online communities centered around neurodivergence with tips and strategies to cope. I definitely understand how futile and exhausting life feels when the society just doesn't accept your brain. i have only ever been able to be friends with other ND people and unfortunately we are all struggling, but there have been things that made life a bit easier once I stopped denying my own needs and sensitivities.