I don’t want to leave my dog.

[SomedayorNexttime]

"I want to end it, but my family will mourn." This would have been my only problem if I wasn't a pet owner. But I have a dog.

He's a small brown dog who's one of the cutest things I've ever had. He is the light of my family. And I don't think I can handle the thought of him looking around my room and wondering where I am for the rest of his life.

I wish I knew how to say goodbye to him, but every time I think about it, tears just stream down my face freely before I get the chance to really cry. He opens my room door with his head and puts his front two paws on the bed to see me when I wake up, so I can't handle the thought of him doing that every morning not knowing I'm dead.

I hate that he knows who I am. I hate that he loves me and that the thought of his scratching at my door after I go through with it kills me inside. But I hate myself so much more and I do not deserve a pet like him. I am awful.

I wish I could rehome him but I can't. I think the best I can do is wait until he eventually passes of old age, but he's not even a year old, so it would take at least another ten years. I can't do this for that long.

If you all have any advice please share

 

[PrincessSaturn]

Aww, this is so sweet honestly. I feel the exact same way about my cat. I ended one of my attempts early because I looked up and saw her watching me; It broke my heart and was enough to hold me off.

It's hard for me to say that you should leave him behind, and it's equally hard for me to say you should continue through with suffering for your dog's sake. I'm sorry if my reply wasn't super helpful for you, but I just want you to know that you have such a warm heart for thinking of your dog during this difficult time. I hope + pray you find peace, and whatever you decide to do, I know your dog will love and cherish the memories he has with you regardless.

 

[rekt]

Yeah, I can understand the dilemma but it's hard to give advice knowing so little about the situation. Do you live alone with the dog? Why can't you rehome him? Do you mean you can't bring yourself to give him up?

 

[SomedayorNexttime]

Yeah, I can understand the dilemma but it's hard to give advice knowing so little about the situation. Do you live alone with the dog? Why can't you rehome him? Do you mean you can't bring yourself to give him up?

Live with my family, so I can't give him up.

 

[rekt]

Live with my family, so I can't give him up.

Why would you need or want to rehome the dog if you have family living with you who can take care of him?

 

[Obliviate]

This is exactly how I feel about my cats. Literally the ONLY reason I am living is because of them. Their both fairly healthy and can live for a long time and I don't think I can make it that far. Imagining them meowing at my door, looking for me when I'm gone just kills me but I don't have a choice. I have to leave soon. I also think about how many pets also die after their owners from grief and heartbreak. Hopefully I'll be able to look out for them on the other side.

 

[SomedayorNexttime]

Why would you need or want to rehome the dog if you have family living with you who can take care of him?

Because I don't want him to be traumatized, I'd want him to start over with a different family without him being confused about where I am

 

[Nightfoot]

Because I don't want him to be traumatized, I'd want him to start over with a different family without him being confused about where I am

Before he passed away, my dad had a service dog. I think she was confused about where he was for a short while afterward but she has adjusted and still has mom to take care of her.

 

[darksouls]

Because I don't want him to be traumatized, I'd want him to start over with a different family without him being confused about where I am

if your dog is happy with your family
then it is better for your dog to stay at home