I don’t want to feel anything

[toxicjester]

Yesterday my girlfriend and I had a horrible fight. I'm so emotional and I hate it. Even when I was young my mom told me to stop crying and to get over things. Last night my gf said something similar and it made everything feel nonexistent.

I need to know how to stop feeling my emotions so intensely. Or to feel numb. I took ssri's before and it did it a little bit years ago but the last time I took it it didn't do much and I haven't had an appointment with my psychiatrist in a while(not that I mind cause she seemed kinda bitchy and seemed to judge me for smoking weed).

I need to know what y'all take to deal with that kinda thing. I dont know what else to do. I really thought about ctb last night but have no way of doing it, and there's still so much shit I need to get out of the way if I even want to consider doing it in a way that hurts the least amount of people

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Does she know about your situation? If so, you might want to tell her how that made you feel. Not in an accusatory way ("you made me feel this way"), but rather as a sort of "when people say these sorts of things to me it makes me feel like shit". I'd advise you to leave out the ctb stuff though.

Then again, no idea how close the two of you are.

 

[toxicjester]

Does she know about your situation? If so, you might want to tell her how that made you feel. Not in an accusatory way ("you made me feel this way"), but rather as a sort of "when people say these sorts of things to me it makes me feel like shit". I'd advise you to leave out the ctb stuff though.

Then again, no idea how close the two of you are.

She knows, but we'd been arguing for hours at that point she was exhausted and viscerally upset so I don't hold it against her, especially since she had said previously that I end up co-opting her sadness and using it to get upset myself, another reason why I have such a visceral hatred for myself

 

[-nobodyknows-]

she had said previously that I end up co-opting her sadness and using it to get upset myself

If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by this?

 

[toxicjester]

If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by this?

Whenever she gets upset about something I end up getting upset also, I don't mean to do it I'm just way too over sensitive which is why this post was mainly made to see what I could take to maybe make me feel numb so that this doesn't happen anymore

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Whenever she gets upset about something I end up getting upset also, I don't mean to do it I'm just way too over sensitive which is why this post was mainly made to see what I could take to maybe make me feel numb so that this doesn't happen anymore

This is just my opinion, but I don't think that's a bad thing (though I may be misunderstanding things). I assume you care about them, so when they get upset it upsets you as well. Maybe not over the same thing, but the emotions rub off on you, yeah? I don't think that's something you want to get rid of. It's a sign that they matter to you.

Then again, my relationship experience is very limited so what the hell do I know

 

[toxicjester]

This is just my opinion, but I don't think that's a bad thing (though I may be misunderstanding things). I assume you care about them, so when they get upset it upsets you as well. Maybe not over the same thing, but the emotions rub off on you, yeah? I don't think that's something you want to get rid of. It's a sign that they matter to you.

Then again, my relationship experience is very limited so what the hell do I know

It turns into a bad thing when I can't take care of her and that's the thing she wants. I try to help her in every other sense of the word, but I can't help her where it matters I guess

This is the only relationship I've been in and I've been in it for 6 years at this point so I don't know if my knowledge is much better honestly lol

I appreciate you trying to help, I just mainly wanted to see what other people did to tune their shit out so it wasn't so overwhelming