Venting I don't want to die but I'm hopeless

[goodnewz]

long story short I got really fucked up by psychiatric medications in a short time and I feel chemically lobotomized. no love, thoughts, feelings, emotions + brain fog, fatigue, confusion, mental slowing, neuropathy, and a bunch of other stuff. what sucks is I so badly want to live, I cry about my life being ruined every day it hurts so bad, but I've been stripped from everything that makes life liveable, this is just torture. and I was NEVER suicidal before this, there were so many things I wanted to do in life. I have the most perfect loving boyfriend and I can't even feel that deep love for him because my ability to do so has been taken away from me, its so cruel. I wouldnt actually CTB now I want to give my brain a fighting chance at recovery but the future just looks so bleak. i dont want to die but I dont want to live so I'm just here wishing life away hoping that my brain will function again someday (im off the meds and have been for a while)

guys this is not depression this was caused by psych drugs :(( "getting help" is what got me here, I guess I'm part of some minority that was damaged by those drugs, but it does happen. I'm pretty sure I have PSSD plus a bunch of other issues because of them.. before the drugs I felt a lot that was never an issue, but those drugs took away my humanity man and it hasnt come back

 

[Hollowman]

I've been suffering through the same things for many years. It's a living hell. Sorry you're dealing with it.

 

[Spook97]

It seems your medication is causing you more harm than good, my friend. If you felt hope for your future ahead of your prescription, then perhaps you should discuss this change with your local doctor—of you grant them your trust, that is.
If you wish to live, you should seek appropriate treatment for your melancholy. I wish upon you bright days, fella.

 

[goodnewz]

It seems your medication is causing you more harm than good, my friend. If you felt hope for your future ahead of your prescription, then perhaps you should discuss this change with your local doctor—of you grant them your trust, that is.
If you wish to live, you should seek appropriate treatment for your melancholy. I wish upon you bright days, fella.

Im off the offending meds and still feel this way. I was never anhedonic before meds, they caused it :(( it feels like a permanent change in my brain

 

[angelicisight]

If you are able to find a sense of meaning, then you have reason to endure through the experience, and things tend to be less difficult when we feel a good reason to go through them. Meaning is a fragile thing though because "why?" can easily destroy everything we try to build when the tough times come.

 

[kråkevind]

I wonder how long it takes for the brain to flush all that stuff out? It might take some time. There are some drs that actually care out there. I hope you can find one you trust and find a way out of the fog.

 

[goodnewz]

I've been suffering through the same things for many years. It's a living hell. Sorry you're dealing with it.

can I talk to you somehow?? I dont know how this site works

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

long story short I got really fucked up by psychiatric medications in a short time and I feel chemically lobotomized. no love, thoughts, feelings, emotions + brain fog, fatigue, confusion, mental slowing, neuropathy, and a bunch of other stuff. what sucks is I so badly want to live, I cry about my life being ruined every day it hurts so bad, but I've been stripped from everything that makes life liveable, this is just torture. and I was NEVER suicidal before this, there were so many things I wanted to do in life. I have the most perfect loving boyfriend and I can't even feel that deep love for him because my ability to do so has been taken away from me, its so cruel. I wouldnt actually CTB now I want to give my brain a fighting chance at recovery but the future just looks so bleak. i dont want to die but I dont want to live so I'm just here wishing life away hoping that my brain will function again someday (im off the meds and have been for a while)

Sorry you are going through this …How is your life ruined ???

 

[forever dreaming]

I'm suffering the same things as well. What med did you take I took Invega Sustenna

 

[goodnewz]

Sorry you are going through this …How is your life ruined ???

recovery from psych drug damage can take years and for some its somewhat permanent damage :( I have no idea if I'll recover from this, I seem to be getting worse honestly

I'm suffering the same things as well. What med did you take I took Invega Sustenna

I was never on anti psychotic but was on Zoloft, benzos, gabapentin, mirtazipine

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

recovery from psych drug damage can take years and for some its somewhat permanent damage :( I have no idea if I'll recover from this, I seem to be getting worse honestly

Sorry but what psych drug did they give you that caused this ??

Sorry you said no love and then you said you have the most loving boyfriend ??

 

[urfavlatina]

I'm really sorry to hear this. I know that life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, trust me I learned this at a early age. I feel like how you feel some days as well. I have an amazing boyfriend but my mental health just makes everything worse. Trust me, keep going not for me but for your boyfriend and any other people that you feel as though care about you. Life is tough, everyone on this website understands that but with or without medication, we'll be here for you. You are loved, by me at least. It was nice meeting you and I hope you have an amazing day/night. God bless <3

 

[goodnewz]

If you are able to find a sense of meaning, then you have reason to endure through the experience, and things tend to be less difficult when we feel a good reason to go through them. Meaning is a fragile thing though because "why?" can easily destroy everything we try to build when the tough times come.

I want to find meaning but I have no idea when or if my brain will heal itself :( If I knew I could heal, I would wait, no matter how long it would take but I've seen people suffer with drug damage for years or even a lifetime, so not everybody heals.. it makes me wonder whats the point of all this if I dont even get better,, I want to believe I will but its so hard to

Sorry but what psych drug did they give you that caused this ??

Sorry you said no love and then you said you have the most loving boyfriend ??

I dont know which one caused the most damage but Zoloft, gabapentin, mirtazipine, benzos

Yes I do have the most loving boyfriend but I can't actually feel the love, I dont feel anything because of what those drugs did to me

 

[angelicisight]

I want to find meaning but I have no idea when or if my brain will heal itself :( If I knew I could heal, I would wait, no matter how long it would take but I've seen people suffer with drug damage for years or even a lifetime, so not everybody heals.. it makes me wonder whats the point of all this if I dont even get better,, I want to believe I will but its so hard to

Hmm… okay. I think I found meaning in life by finding something I connected to. I found something that felt real to me. After I found that, I tried to build an understanding based on what I connected to.

You are saying "My brain is damaged." Therefore, you cannot connect with anything. So this is a real problem.

Do you truly feel connected to nothing right now? I suppose I have been there.

No but I remember when I was there, and I started getting dark thoughts, I started to feel afraid and worried. You say you don't want to die, so do you at least feel fear then? I didn't find a life for myself because I was afraid, but fear got me looking, and when I found something it just was a totally unexpected miracle, but I believed I could find it though. I believed it had to be there. I think you can get past this. I don't think you are hopeless.

 

[HAKMKS]

long story short I got really fucked up by psychiatric medications in a short time and I feel chemically lobotomized. no love, thoughts, feelings, emotions + brain fog, fatigue, confusion, mental slowing, neuropathy, and a bunch of other stuff. what sucks is I so badly want to live, I cry about my life being ruined every day it hurts so bad, but I've been stripped from everything that makes life liveable, this is just torture. and I was NEVER suicidal before this, there were so many things I wanted to do in life. I have the most perfect loving boyfriend and I can't even feel that deep love for him because my ability to do so has been taken away from me, its so cruel. I wouldnt actually CTB now I want to give my brain a fighting chance at recovery but the future just looks so bleak. i dont want to die but I dont want to live so I'm just here wishing life away hoping that my brain will function again someday (im off the meds and have been for a while)

guys this is not depression this was caused by psych drugs :(( I'm pretty sure I have PSSD plus a bunch of other issues because of them.. before the drugs I felt a lot that was never an issue.. but those drugs took away my humanity man and it hasnt come back

I feel the same way. Messed up by psych med and dr trauma

 

[goodnewz]

I'm really sorry to hear this. I know that life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, trust me I learned this at a early age. I feel like how you feel some days as well. I have an amazing boyfriend but my mental health just makes everything worse. Trust me, keep going not for me but for your boyfriend and any other people that you feel as though care about you. Life is tough, everyone on this website understands that but with or without medication, we'll be here for you. You are loved, by me at least. It was nice meeting you and I hope you have an amazing day/night. God bless <

I'm really sorry to hear this. I know that life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, trust me I learned this at a early age. I feel like how you feel some days as well. I have an amazing boyfriend but my mental health just makes everything worse. Trust me, keep going not for me but for your boyfriend and any other people that you feel as though care about you. Life is tough, everyone on this website understands that but with or without medication, we'll be here for you. You are loved, by me at least. It was nice meeting you and I hope you have an amazing day/night. God bless <3

thank you for your comment, its nice to see that people care :( <3 but my situation isnt relating to depression or mental health, I was damaged by psych drugs.. I wish there was more I could do to help myself cope with this situation but I think the only way out is time.. never again am I touching those drugs, theyve really messed up my head. thank you again for the sweet comment though, I hope youve been having a great day

 

[HAKMKS]

recovery from psych drug damage can take years and for some its somewhat permanent damage :( I have no idea if I'll recover from this, I seem to be getting worse honestly

I was never on anti psychotic but was on Zoloft, benzos, gabapentin, mirtazipine

I dont believe that it's permanent.

I've been suffering through the same things for many years. It's a living hell. Sorry you're dealing with it.

Me, too

long story short I got really fucked up by psychiatric medications in a short time and I feel chemically lobotomized. no love, thoughts, feelings, emotions + brain fog, fatigue, confusion, mental slowing, neuropathy, and a bunch of other stuff. what sucks is I so badly want to live, I cry about my life being ruined every day it hurts so bad, but I've been stripped from everything that makes life liveable, this is just torture. and I was NEVER suicidal before this, there were so many things I wanted to do in life. I have the most perfect loving boyfriend and I can't even feel that deep love for him because my ability to do so has been taken away from me, its so cruel. I wouldnt actually CTB now I want to give my brain a fighting chance at recovery but the future just looks so bleak. i dont want to die but I dont want to live so I'm just here wishing life away hoping that my brain will function again someday (im off the meds and have been for a while)

guys this is not depression this was caused by psych drugs :(( I'm pretty sure I have PSSD plus a bunch of other issues because of them.. before the drugs I felt a lot that was never an issue.. but those drugs took away my humanity man and it hasnt come back

What is PSSD

I'm suffering the same things as well. What med did you take I took Invega Sustenna

What is that for?

I'm suffering the same things as well. What med did you take I took Invega Sustenna

What is that for?

 

[goodnewz]

It seems your medication is causing you more harm than good, my friend. If you felt hope for your future ahead of your prescription, then perhaps you should discuss this change with your local doctor—of you grant them your trust, that is.
If you wish to live, you should seek appropriate treatment for your melancholy. I wish upon you bright days, fella.

I dont believe that it's permanent.

Me, too

What is PSSD

how long have you been suffering and from what drugs?? im sorry youre suffering too... PSSD is post-SSRI sexual dysfunction but in severe cases can cause cognitive issues, anhedonia, emotional blunting aswell

 

[HAKMKS]

how long have you been suffering and from what drugs?? im sorry youre suffering too... PSSD is post-SSRI sexual dysfunction but in severe cases can cause cognitive issues, anhedonia, emotional blunting aswell

Its a long story. You can PM me

 

[goodnewz]

Its a long story. You can PM me

how do I do that ?? I have no idea how this website works

 

[Aisley]

When they say 'get help', they know nothing about shit like this that can happen. Maybe it will go away with time? There are a few people here who have the same side effects from psych drugs, hopefully they can give you some idea.

 

[goodnewz]

When they say 'get help', they know nothing about shit like this that can happen. Maybe it will go away with time? There are a few people here who have the same side effects from psych drugs, hopefully they can give you some idea.

EXACTLY I am so over people telling me to get help, getting help with drugs is what got me here and is what damaged my brain

Im hoping to find more people who are going through something similar.. its beyond awful

 

[Hollowman]

can I talk to you somehow?? I dont know how this site works

Yeah but you have to get your post count up to dm. Not sure how many you need though.

 

[goodnewz]

Yeah but you have to get your post count up to dm. Not sure how many you need though.

ok ill keep posting then thank you.. are you a member of surviving antidepressants?? that place has helped me a lot with trying to understand whats happened to me

 

[Hollowman]

ok ill keep posting then thank you.. are you a member of surviving antidepressants?? that place has helped me a lot with trying to understand whats happened to me

ok ill keep posting then thank you.. are you a member of surviving antidepressants?? that place has helped me a lot with trying to understand whats happened to me

I'm not a member but i've checked it out, I probably can't help you I'm pretty far gone. But feel free to message me when you can.

 

[goodnewz]

I'm not a member but i've checked it out, I probably can't help you I'm pretty far gone. But feel free to message me when you can.

do you have discord ??

 

[Kta1994]

Youre not a minority , there a several fb groups about that

 

[HAKMKS]

how do I do that ?? I have no idea how this website works

I think u need a certain number of posts to PM.

 

[Twistedliesinside]

You're not in the minority, I feel the same and yet it feels far too late for me to get off everything because if I do it's worse than anything I could have imagined. I've accepted I need to keep poisoning myself or I might take any way out. Stay strong yeah, I believe you can make a full recovery off of those particular medications even if taken for many years. Very fortunate you didn't get put on anti-psychotics. Takes a long time to rewire the brain but you can make it. It should just be the Zoloft and Mirtazapine that's caused this in you. Your serotonin receptors just need time to recover.

 

[Hollowman]

do you have discord ??

No