So i know it's pretty unusual but id really appreciate suggestions on how to stop suicidal thoughts if other people in my life want me dead? Thank you so much.
-
Hey Guest,
We wanted to share a quick update with the community.
Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.
👉 View the ledger hereOver the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.
If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.
Donate via cryptocurrency:
Bitcoin (BTC):Ethereum (ETH):Monero (XMR):
Carrot
C:
- Feb 25, 2025
- 572
Because my depression got the best of me and nobody thinks I'm a human anymore because I'm so deep into my depression, that's why everyone wants me dead but even tho I'm deep into my depression doesn't mean i want to die, hurts even more bc it's from family membersAre people saying "if I was you I would kill myself?" Or that they wish you would?
take this with a grain of salt, because I am here on SaSu and have a plan, just no set date.
When people started saying this to me (or it even felt implied) I really let myself feel what that meant for a few days. People genuinely saying if they were in my situation they'd end it.
You are human. So human! You're here asking for help. What I realised in the depths of the despair was that no one was coming to save me. No one was going to grab the steering wheel and change my life to be better/make me less sick (I have physical and mental chronic illness/disability). That's it, you're on your own, kid. So if you want to live (and it sounds like you do), you have to find a way to make your life tolerable enough that you can live it, one day at a time (sorry for the cheesy slogan).
Everyone's circumstances are different, but for me (while I wait to pick a date) I'm working on not caring what other people think of my life. What do I want? I imagine it like there's this little fire in me and I can throw healthy logs on it that make the fire bigger and smell good. Toxic people are like plastic on the fire, they stink out the air and ruin everything good. Fuck everyone else. It's your life and you want to live it. Depression is absolutely debilitating - I've been depressed since I was 9 and am almost 40. Still am. It feels like there's no escape, but there is (if you want to live). It might be radical and take months or years, but piece by piece you can build a new life, away from these people. Find a friend, a therapist, a kind person at the library or soup kitchen - whatever applies to you. Little connections make you realise the world is so much bigger. It is very, very hard. But you've lasted this long. What's another day? You can always give up tomorrow.
I don't know if this has been helpful. But it's getting me through the worst year of my life. If you want to live (and don't have a terminal illness) you can not catch the bus.
Peace to you, friend. I hope you find the life you deserve.
