Venting I don't want to connect with anyone

[gardenoflonely]

Nothing matters to me anymore, everyday is the same loop and the basics like talking, eating, etc feel like chores. I mean, is this it? This is what I'm being encouraged to live for? I want so much more for myself that I just can't seem to hold onto. I just feel nothing and that disconnect from finally being able to let go over having no control is the most happy I've felt in a while. I used to be so angry for not having anything, a job I liked, a good relationship with my parents, a marriage, hell even a stray cat off the street at this point. I wanted to feel that warmth of loving and taking care of someone/something but I've gone from being upset from struggling to make an authentic connection to just giving up entirely. It's not going to happen, or if it was, not in a reasonable time frame to be worth it. And I'm okay with that. It just would've been nice maybe.

 

[Hollowman]

I've given up trying to connect too. I tried and failed so many times.

 

[bipolar22]

I have my gf but I dont hsve friends really ans dont leave my condo. Disnt leave my condo for like 1 year now. Nothing out there tbh

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

"Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin."

 

[HeyBoogahJr]

Nothing matters to me anymore, everyday is the same loop and the basics like talking, eating, etc feel like chores. I mean, is this it? This is what I'm being encouraged to live for? I want so much more for myself that I just can't seem to hold onto. I just feel nothing and that disconnect from finally being able to let go over having no control is the most happy I've felt in a while. I used to be so angry for not having anything, a job I liked, a good relationship with my parents, a marriage, hell even a stray cat off the street at this point. I wanted to feel that warmth of loving and taking care of someone/something but I've gone from being upset from struggling to make an authentic connection to just giving up entirely. It's not going to happen, or if it was, not in a reasonable time frame to be worth it. And I'm okay with that. It just would've been nice maybe.

I'm sorry that your going through this, I know how it feels. I wish I had a genuine connection too.

I'm wondering what you think genuine connection is?