Help I Don't Want Therapy, I Do Want To Get Better

[MoonBat]

My family has noticed my melancholy recently and have consistently made it a point that I should be looking for a therapist or a psychiatrist. It's sweet that they care and I know they see this as a channel to get better, but I don't trust therapists nor do I think they are an effective way to feel better. I'm suicidal because of my status as a woman in the world, I dread the foreseeable future at the hands of right wing politicians, and the upcoming socio-economic collapse. There's nothing I can do to change these things, I don't see how paying for a therapist with what little money I have is going to fix that.

However, I want to improve my mental state. I feel that it is largely out of my control and I'm unsure if therapy is really the best course of action. Anyone else in this sort of position? Did therapy help or did you find a more efficient/worthwhile method of recovery? A few friends have told me I should consider smoking weed or something to help with anxiety, but I don't think that's much better either. (''>﹏<)

 

[Redacted24]

Hi, I'm sorry you're in this state... and yeah the time with therapists is kind of a hit-or-miss experience from my perspective. It all depends on how well you "click" with each other and that takes a few meetings to kind of know.

I had one for a few years that was effortless to talk with. I looked forward to our meetings, and she was really supportive and affirming to me. A year after she left for her own practice and I didn't see her again.

Before her (and for almost 2 years after her) I managed to keep going on my own. I'd call it managing my depression rather than recovery, because I wasn't getting better, I was just doing better at recognizing the pitfalls and steering clear before I got sucked into the hole.

For me, some of it was realization that I can't do everything myself. There are just too many things that I can neither control nor influence. I used to get hung up on that a lot and still do to a degree, and it makes me feel like a gutted fish when there's something bad happening and I can't do anything - nothing! - to make it better. I have to remind myself to simply acknowledge the problem and refocus on the very small circle of things that I can control.

I also worked to see the positive in situations, to change the narrative whenever I could and not get hung up on the bad. Like, having to walk 15 min to the bus stop then wait then ride 20 min to get to my train instead of driving to the station or getting dropped off. Sure my commute got 45 min longer each way and standing in the rain isn't great...but I've prevented some greenhouse gasses and pollution, which helps the environment.

It was little mind tricks like that that helped me get by without talking with someone.

And, frankly, the people on this site have helped me too...because they can empathize and support and are usually kind.

Just some ideas. We're here for you!

 

[Life_and_Death]

what about self therapy. where you figure yourself out and what you need/can use without a therapist.

 

[extremelytired1]

My family has noticed my melancholy recently and have consistently made it a point that I should be looking for a therapist or a psychiatrist. It's sweet that they care and I know they see this as a channel to get better, but I don't trust therapists nor do I think they are an effective way to feel better. I'm suicidal because of my status as a woman in the world, I dread the foreseeable future at the hands of right wing politicians, and the upcoming socio-economic collapse. There's nothing I can do to change these things, I don't see how paying for a therapist with what little money I have is going to fix that.

However, I want to improve my mental state. I feel that it is largely out of my control and I'm unsure if therapy is really the best course of action. Anyone else in this sort of position? Did therapy help or did you find a more efficient/worthwhile method of recovery? A few friends have told me I should consider smoking weed or something to help with anxiety, but I don't think that's much better either. (''>﹏<)

I can't make an absolute statement but most people in that field are there because they genuinely care, are interested in the human mind/experience and want to better it. I know, these are scary times, and from personal experience I don't advise drugs. If you want to get better, and you're suicidal, what do you have to lose trusting somebody? There are so many good people about. Don't be put off by climates of fear and the state of the world

 

[MoonBat]

I can't make an absolute statement but most people in that field are there because they genuinely care, are interested in the human mind/experience and want to better it. I know, these are scary times, and from personal experience I don't advise drugs. If you want to get better, and you're suicidal, what do you have to lose trusting somebody? There are so many good people about. Don't be put off by climates of fear and the state of the world

I'm very late to respond, but yes you're right. I think trust is needed after all. Besides, if they really wanted to go into medicine for money, a therapist job would probably be the least efficient way of doing so lol. I'll push myself to do something. Thank you for reaching out, I appreciate it more than I can put into words.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I've been in therapy for almost 2 decades, two psychologists. Therapy can be nice and, especially for problems like you're mentioning where you are suffering due to things you can't control, it can teach you techniques on how to deal with that. As suffering due to things outside of our control is a futile endeavour, logically speaking, but so hard to resolve.

If you don't want therapy, you may be able to achieve similar results by delving into introspection, learning psychology techniques, reading philosophy, but it requires a lot more work on your part and there's no guarantee you'll do a better job than a good therapist. You may also find bad therapists, it all depends on your luck and also your ability to spot a good therapist.

At this point in my life I'm pursuing solutions by myself. I've been reading about Stoicism and Taoism and the logical arguments of philosophy click with my brain so I feel like I'm going somewhere. However, I also had years and years of being a psychology patient under my belt so there's an underlying level of knowledge that, I'd say, helped me to get to where I am.

Whatever you decide, consider your options carefully and how much effort you realistically think you can put in. Maybe toss a coin: heads - therapy, tails - self help. When the coin lands and you see the result, you'll either be disappointed or satisfied in the moment, which can inform you about what you truly want.

 

[Electra]

I feel uncomfortable telling a person, I know nothing about, my personal thoughts and emotions. And also finding a therapist that you click with can be challenging as well. I wish you and all the people in a similar situation the best <3

 

[Dot]

My family has noticed my melancholy recently and have consistently made it a point that I should be looking for a therapist or a psychiatrist. It's sweet that they care and I know they see this as a channel to get better, but I don't trust therapists nor do I think they are an effective way to feel better. I'm suicidal because of my status as a woman in the world, I dread the foreseeable future at the hands of right wing politicians, and the upcoming socio-economic collapse. There's nothing I can do to change these things, I don't see how paying for a therapist with what little money I have is going to fix that.

However, I want to improve my mental state. I feel that it is largely out of my control and I'm unsure if therapy is really the best course of action. Anyone else in this sort of position? Did therapy help or did you find a more efficient/worthwhile method of recovery? A few friends have told me I should consider smoking weed or something to help with anxiety, but I don't think that's much better either. (''>﹏<)

Thre r also onlne meetng grps whch = basd mre on peer spport bt sme of thm hve professnls facilit8tng thm

Online Support and Recovery Meeting Groups

Many people who cannot access or afford standard therapy might find some help in video meetings and classes with online support groups and organisations. This information is not designed to be a replacement for professional therapy but for many will also be much better than nothng. Some of...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Mny of thm hve stps whch hlp 2 mange feelngs dffrntly - u mght nt b abl t/ chnge Nvirnmnt bt sme spport cld hlp u tke contrl in othr wys

 

[extremelytired1]

I'm very late to respond, but yes you're right. I think trust is needed after all. Besides, if they really wanted to go into medicine for money, a therapist job would probably be the least efficient way of doing so lol. I'll push myself to do something. Thank you for reaching out, I appreciate it more than I can put into words.

I'm grateful that I could help. Don't worry about whether or not a therapist is trustworthy, but do keep in mind whether or not the therapist is right for you. That's what matters. Empathy, experience (theory and life). They don't need to be exactly what you have in mind but a person's empathy goes a long way regardless. And do give them a chance if at first meeting you don't feel heard. It's a process and yes these people are there because they want to help. There are so many more lucrative and simpler ways for a person to be unethical. Don't worry about the future too much just yet. Focus on taking care of yourself

 

[Regen]

Well, therapy has actually helped me a lot. However, not so immediately and suddenly but rather quietly and slowly. I often thought that it didn't help at all. But looking back, I see that it did improve things. But it's not a miracle cure, just like everything else. It's probably more of a hard work, you only get good results after a long time. At least that's how it was for me. It can definitely be done faster for others.

What helped me the most was schema therapy (working with the inner child).

Otherwise what helped me the most was:
- Antidepressants
- Self-help groups
- Meditation and recovery videos in YouTube
- my dog

Didn't help:
- Self-harm
- Alcohol
- Love relationship (this was toxic and addictive)

 

[Jack_Nimble]

Most importantly ignore all politicians and stop watching the news. It's also been known for some time that liberals especially suffer from mental health issues at disproportionately high rates. Politicians prey on your emotions to get votes.

Therapy can be helpful but only goes so far. Similar to schooling you can only get out of it what you put into it. A therapist can't fix anyone, but only guide. However therapy these days focuses mostly on forming healthy lifestyle habits which only goes so far compared to eorking on your personal issues.

For your personal issues self help and personal growth books are golden. Topics like how to succeed as a woman. That's of course vague. Idk what specific personal issues you deal with but an example of a book that applies to many of us would be Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.

 

[ALonelyFreak]

So fucking relatable...

However if you avoid therapy only because you're unsure it isn't good IHMO. You might find a therapist who will empower you somehow. They (though preferable she) might introduce you to other women with similar problems. Don't count on too much but it might work out. It's hard to say. Of course don't tell them you're suicidal or they will put you in a ward :(

Unless you live in the Middle East then I'm sorry for you. In the West we can fight for our rights though sometimes it doesn't work out.

 

[mahoganylvr]

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

^^ this sub and it's resources are really helping me rn.