Help i dont want anything

[nayomi]

i talked with my psycologist and there are times when pain is ok like in rainbow gatherings or psycadelics or games. but when i do them i choose to do them and i want them. i choose to take the risk of getting hurt by them.
in life there isnt a choice. i dont want to live for anything. nothing really excite me. i do like some stuff in life and sometimes i dont care about pain but most of the time i do and i dont want to feel it .
there is nothing that i can say ok i am ok to suffer for it for those things or those moments

 

[Sadbanana]

Suffering is not worth this. I don't know if there are things worth suffering for. But if there are things like that I didn't get to know them in this life.