Venting I don't think I really want to die, I just want the impossible

[slowdance]

I wish the world was the way that it could never be. I wish people weren't inherently cruel. I wish I could make friends. I wish life was like a movie where no matter how bad things got the good guys win in the end. I feel like a toddler screaming "It's not fair!" I wish dying wasn't my only option for ending my suffering.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

This how I feel NGL....... you're not alone

 

[theboy]

I feel u
Sometimes I think that this world "is not for me"

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think that's the whole issue isn't it? It makes sense to ask ourselves: 'Would I want to live under any circumstances?' In the hopes we can work towards them. But yeah, if we realistically assess those circumstances are impossible, they're not really a realustic goal!

My 'impossible' is more selfish really. I'd maybe consider getting by for now if I could earn enough doing the job I enjoy. Except it would need to be secure and a reasonably steady workload. Doesn't sound unreasonable really but... it doesn't work like that at all and I'm sick of complying.

 

[HereIGoAgain24]

This is exactly it for me. I really don't want to die, either. But sweet Jesus, the world is just so bleak, and it's getting worse- a world where evil not only keeps winning, but convinces people it's good and the good guys are evil.

 

[SVEN]

You are not alone.

 

[sadalways]

World is fucked up, i understand how you feel. Wish it was possible to do something about it but it's impossible, i feel like. i haven't had someone i could call a friend in forever because people just forget i exist. It's sad.

 

[missedmybus]

Getting involved with volunteering generally leads to you meeting people that are nicer than most. It's how I met most of my current acquaintances/friends.

They always have a listening ear and want to help, which makes me uncomfortable because I am used to abusive/bully type people.

I think maybe through meetup (app) you could also find nice hobby groups. I played Go! (Chinese checkers) for a while and was immediately accepted as if I was part of the family. Niche hobbies like that especially tend to attract good people, because they want the hobby to grow.

It also helps to stop paying attention to the news, and just to focus on people in your immediate surroundings. If something that would actually affect you, happens on the news, it's probably better to hear it from a good acquaintance, rather than a money/ideology driven company.

Just my two cents on the matter, that I've found to make life a bit more bearable.

Edit: I know it's a cliche of "Be the change you want to see in the world.". But there is some truth to that. Small positive actions in your immediate surroundings have a snowball effect. Maybe get involved in local politics? Generally more socialist/communist type parties have grassroots organizations surrounding them, to help suffering people. Might also be a good way to meet well-meaning people, as long as you keep away from the career politician/climber types.

 

[SadFoxDreamer83]

I wish the world was the way that it could never be. I wish people weren't inherently cruel. I wish I could make friends. I wish life was like a movie where no matter how bad things got the good guys win in the end. I feel like a toddler screaming "It's not fair!" I wish dying wasn't my only option for ending my suffering.

It's really frustrating, not finding a way to be able to live, living only to suffer is fucking horrible

 

[slowdance]

Getting involved with volunteering generally leads to you meeting people that are nicer than most. It's how I met most of my current acquaintances/friends.

They always have a listening ear and want to help, which makes me uncomfortable because I am used to abusive/bully type people.

I think maybe through meetup (app) you could also find nice hobby groups. I played Go! (Chinese checkers) for a while and was immediately accepted as if I was part of the family. Niche hobbies like that especially tend to attract good people, because they want the hobby to grow.

It also helps to stop paying attention to the news, and just to focus on people in your immediate surroundings. If something that would actually affect you, happens on the news, it's probably better to hear it from a good acquaintance, rather than a money/ideology driven company.

Just my two cents on the matter, that I've found to make life a bit more bearable.

Edit: I know it's a cliche of "Be the change you want to see in the world.". But there is some truth to that. Small positive actions in your immediate surroundings have a snowball effect. Maybe get involved in local politics? Generally more socialist/communist type parties have grassroots organizations surrounding them, to help suffering people. Might also be a good way to meet well-meaning people, as long as you keep away from the career politician/climber types.

I'm planning on going to UU church. But I'm worried that activism only works if you believe in the cause. I have no hope. I'm only trying it because I keep hearing people say that volunteering made them feel better. I'm worried it only works for people who truly believe they can have a positive impact on the world.

 

[missedmybus]

I'm planning on going to UU church. But I'm worried that activism only works if you believe in the cause. I have no hope. I'm only trying it because I keep hearing people say that volunteering made them feel better. I'm worried it only works for people who truly believe they can have a positive impact on the world.

I volunteer at concert venues mostly. It's fun and gives me social contacts/free entrance sometimes. It helps support the local music scene. It's more about the social contact/helping my direct surroundings than any idealistic or higher purpose for me.

 

[Reflection]

Yea that's pretty much how I feel as well. I love life itself but the abuse it inflicts upon me just gives me no choice.

 

[BorderlineQ]

I feel this at my very core