i don’t see the point in living when i have social anxiety and depression

[singingcrow]

people think life gets better the more you say yes to things. meet people, travel, make memories. what they don't get is what happens when your own mind won't let you have any of it.
someone just looks at you and your heart's already racing. some conversation that means nothing to anyone else, and my chest's still tight 30 mins later. everyone else is just living. i'm just trying to survive the room.
even watching tv shows reminds me of it. the social anxiety, the person i'll never get to be. someone who could just talk freely without worry :/ and under all that there's the depression flattening everything out too. i can't count how many times i've stood in a crowd, everyone laughing, and felt completely alone.

i want to connect with people but i'm also terrified of them. i want to enjoy life but the heaviness never actually goes away, it just follows me wherever i go next. some days it's like watching everyone else live through glass.
the beautiful moments are right there. that's the worst part. knowing that and still not being able to reach them.

i'm done fighting for a life that i don't even get to fully enjoy because of my messed up brain

 

[Chabrychek]

There are medications and therapies for anxiety and depression. If you're still young and have a family, let medicine at least try help you

 

[singingcrow]

There are medications and therapies for anxiety and depression. If you're still young and have a family, let medicine at least try help you

i've used them and unfortunately they haven't done anything to help me

 

[moriix]

people think life gets better the more you say yes to things. meet people, travel, make memories. what they don't get is what happens when your own mind won't let you have any of it.
someone just looks at you and your heart's already racing. some conversation that means nothing to anyone else, and my chest's still tight 30 mins later. everyone else is just living. i'm just trying to survive the room.
even watching tv shows reminds me of it. the social anxiety, the person i'll never get to be. someone who could just talk freely without worry :/ and under all that there's the depression flattening everything out too. i can't count how many times i've stood in a crowd, everyone laughing, and felt completely alone.

i want to connect with people but i'm also terrified of them. i want to enjoy life but the heaviness never actually goes away, it just follows me wherever i go next. some days it's like watching everyone else live through glass.
the beautiful moments are right there. that's the worst part. knowing that and still not being able to reach them.

i'm done fighting for a life that i don't even get to fully enjoy because of my messed up brain

i feel you. i was recently working through an ACT workbook and there was a question that was like "what kind of person would you be and what life would you live if all of your anxiety and depression disappeared?" and I teared up thinking about this. this shit took so much away from me. its truly unfair i really envy people who are just easy-going, chill, able to go with the flow. I've never been like that--im always the overthinking one, the anxious one, the one that can never relax.

you are not doomed to this kind of brain forever, though. there are treatments that may help (meds/therapy), if they are available to you. I dont think fully getting rid of anxiety is possible (and I dont think its necessary--anxiety is a useful emotion sometimes) but lowering it and living a full life with it definitely is. I've been really reluctant to start medication because of all the possible side effects but I think I might consider it at this point. please don't give up on having a more enjoyable life until you have exhausted all the options available

 

[Rihan]

It is comforting for me to find someone with the same struggles that I have. I am diagnosed with severe chronic anxiety, and I can relate to what you wrote.

Severe anxiety rarely fully disappears. Therefore, the best that you can do is reduce your symptoms. Although, it really is a shame that it is so difficult to find treatment that genuinely works. I unfortunately have nothing reassuring to say, but I can empathize with you. You can live through this.

 

[Sims3losertrait]

I know that feel…

Like for real though. It genuinely hurts so much it's beyond words. There's just nothing to say except I'm sorry…

i was recently working through an ACT workbook and there was a question that was like "what kind of person would you be and what life would you live if all of your anxiety and depression disappeared?" and I teared up thinking about this. this shit took so much away from me. its truly unfair

Isn't ACT about accepting things as they are?? Is this not a crazy ass question for an ACT workbook bruh I genuinely cannot imagine even having an answer to that question though. I just can't imagine it. It's like looking into a mirror and not seeing a reflection. There's nothing there. It's literally easier to imagine what life would be like if I was a fish or something. This shit is so ass it's just so sad. Whatever