Venting I don't like that with SN my last 20-30 minutes on earth will be rather unpleasant

[jodes2]

without gain as they say. I'm gonna find out right now...

You taking SN right now??

 

[Altvtysp]

You taking SN right now??

No I'm gonna try to hang myself. I really hope it works. See you on the other side my friend!

 

[jodes2]

Im gonna try to hang myself. I really hope it works. See you on the other side my friend!

Wishing you peace, friend

Welp, I've just been banned from Reddit for promoting hate. I posted in a vent sub that I hated the British subs and wished people there harm, I guess that was a step too far but I was hurt

 

[Altvtysp]

Wishing you peace, friend

Welp, I've just been banned from Reddit for promoting hate. I posted in a vent sub that I hated the British subs and wished people there harm, I guess that was a step too far but I was hurt

Yeah all I want is peace but it's so difficult to get there. I really hurt my throat but my eyes can't get any worse. Wish the noose would cause me to pass out quickly. Gonna try a different position but I imagine I'm too much of a coward to get it done. It's amazing how I can hate living so much but my SI pulls me out when what I'm doing would work if I just allowed it. I'm gonna keep trying maybe I'll hopefully pass out and finally be done. I feel panicky when the numbness starts to come over me but really I should be panicky that I might stay alive. I wish I had a gun...

 

[jodes2]

Yeah all I want is peace but it's so difficult to get there. I really hurt my throat but my eyes can't get any worse. Wish the noose would cause me to pass out quickly. Gonna try a different position but I imagine I'm too much of a coward to get it done. It's amazing how I can hate living so much but my SI pulls me out when what I'm doing would work if I just allowed it. I'm gonna keep trying maybe I'll hopefully pass out and finally be done. I feel panicky when the numbness starts to come over me but really I should be panicky that I might stay alive. I wish I had a gun...

Yeah, gun would be nice. I'd just feel bad leaving that mess for my dad, I suppose I'd go to a hotel room if I chose that method

 

[Altvtysp]

Yeah, gun would be nice. I'd just feel bad leaving that mess for my dad, I suppose I'd go to a hotel room if I chose that method

Well the method I'm trying to do doesn't exactly leave a nice body either but I guess at least it isn't in pieces. If I had a gun I would go deep into the woods by my house and do it out there. I was considering trying to hang myself out there but I was afraid of not being able to find an anchor point and I'm too cowardly to go through a little pain to get it done. I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate my life and I should be capable of getting this done so I don't have to suffer any longer. Fuck my neck hurts and I don't want to be experiencing any of this any longer.

 

[jodes2]

Well the method I'm trying to do doesn't exactly leave a nice body either but I guess at least it isn't in pieces. If I had a gun I would go deep into the woods by my house and do it out there. I was considering trying to hang myself out there but I was afraid of not being able to find an anchor point and I'm too cowardly to go through a little pain to get it done. I cannot even begin to describe how much I hate my life and I should be capable of getting this done so I don't have to suffer any longer. Fuck my neck hurts and I don't want to be experiencing any of this any longer.

Sorry about your neck, I can imagine how bad it must be. Last time I was in hospital there was a girl in a wheelchair from her hanging attempt and was having migraines from it

 

[Altvtysp]

Sorry about your neck, I can imagine how bad it must be. Last time I was in hospital there was a girl in a wheelchair from her hanging attempt and was having migraines from it

I'm sorry that I just can't get the job done. Maybe I'm not really suicidal and just using it as an excuse or something? I'm almost positive if I could just get through the unpleasantness of the first few minutes that I would die. It's not easy to strangle oneself. The pressure in our arteries and stuff is very high. Yeah I wish I had a gun and could just be done with this without struggle. Unfortunately I'm on a list and cannot get one through legal means.

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry that I just can't get the job done. Maybe I'm not really suicidal and just using it as an excuse or something? I'm almost positive if I could just get through the unpleasantness of the first few minutes that I would die. It's not easy to strangle oneself. The pressure in our arteries and stuff is very high. Yeah I wish I had a gun and could just be done with this without struggle. Unfortunately I'm on a list and cannot get one through legal means.

I'm pretty sure you're suicidal! It's just that your SI is strong

 

[Altvtysp]

I'm pretty sure you're suicidal! It's just that your SI is strong

I'm pretty sure if I really wanted to be dead that I would achieve it. It's not even SI it's just like Lary time I would fade out and then realize what situation I was in then stupidly cancel the attempts instead of just relaxing and going with it. I really don't want to live even another minute and the only social contact I have is on here sadly enough. Thank you very much for talking with me!

 

[jodes2]

I'm pretty sure if I really wanted to be dead that I would achieve it. It's not even SI it's just like Lary time I would fade out and then realize what situation I was in then stupidly cancel the attempts instead of just relaxing and going with it. I really don't want to live even another minute and the only social contact I have is on here sadly enough. Thank you very much for talking with me!

Aww no problem, thank you for talking to me! I don't have any other social contact ATM either now that my (ex?) Gf is no longer talking to me, other than my dad who I'm grateful for

 

[Obliviate]

Have you thought about inert gas?

 

[jodes2]

Have you thought about inert gas?

Tried it many times and failed :( I don't know what kept going wrong but I've exhausted all avenues I could think of trying to get it to work, but thanks it's a good suggestion

 

[Obliviate]

Tried it many times and failed :( I don't know what kept going wrong but I've exhausted all avenues I could think of trying to get it to work, but thanks it's a good suggestion

oh yeaa you mentioned it once. I honestly wanna hear about your experiences because logically it makes no sense for it to not work and I also will be doing it in two months maybe.

 

[jodes2]

oh yeaa you mentioned it once. I honestly wanna hear about your experiences because logically it makes no sense for it to not work and I also will be doing it in two months maybe.

The first time, nothing happened and I used up all the gas. The second and third time I kept feeling like I was suffocating and had to rip the bag off

 

[Altvtysp]

Have you thought about inert gas?

I totally wanted to do that method but it's like at least 200 bucks to rent the tank and I don't have a way to bring in a gigantic tank into my house without my family asking questions. It would be my preferred method besides opiate overdose if I thought I could pull it off.

 

[jodes2]

ly wanted to do that method but it's like at least 200 bucks to rent the tank and I don't have a way to bring in a gigantic tank into my house without my family asking questions. It would be my preferred method besides opiate overdose if I thought I could pull it off.

Yeah opiate od would be my first choice too, love that stuff. Peaceful af

 

[Sad_Sack]

Ugh I hate that expression lol. Personally I don't believe it, you *can* gain without pain often! But in this case, yeah...

You can also have pain with no gain

 

[jodes2]

You can also have pain with no gain

Lordy, isn't that the truth

 

[Nirrend]

It sucks. I hope I can get hold of N some time because I really would rather not suffer with SN. The taste, the headache, the difficulty breathing, it's a horrible combination (although I know there are much worse deaths). Why are we forced to put up with this shit? It's not fair. I don't want to keep suffering until I finally die naturally. All the illnesses and struggles I have yet to go through daunts me. How do normies just keep going in the face of decades of suffering to go? Shit, wtf is their secret?! So, it's a shame that right now SN seems like my best option. FFS. Its scary. It's going to be terrifying. At least I don't plan to CTB for a long time, so I still have a chance of getting N. I can't hurt my gf. Not yet. Not for a long while. Fuck! Gotta put up with all the daily shit that life brings.

Hi sweet @jodes2

I'm really sorry, you seems to feel hopeless, tired, anxious.. ❤

I totaly understand, I also consider SN like a painful and terrifying way to go.. and honestly I'm really surprised to see how many people here end their life with SN.

N is clearly the best way to go, I agree

If you feel stuck, why not cheking if darknet could offer you some ideas for a peaceful method, I had Morphine and Benzo from here, because like you I guess, I can't leave with others methods, they are really stressful (of course you already know but I'm not incitating)

I understand your feeling, you're not alone in this jail, do not forget ❤

You're courageous, stay strong like you already are ❤

Love ❤

 

[jodes2]

Hi sweet @jodes2

I'm really sorry, you seems to feel hopeless, tired, anxious.. ❤

I totaly understand, I also consider SN like a painful and terrifying way to go.. and honestly I'm really surprised to see how many people here end their life with SN.

N is clearly the best way to go, I agree

If you feel stuck, why not cheking if darknet could offer you some ideas for a peaceful method, I had Morphine and Benzo from here, because like you I guess, I can't leave with others methods, they are really stressful (of course you already know but I'm not incitating)

I understand your feeling, you're not alone in this jail, do not forget ❤

You're courageous, stay strong like you already are ❤

Love ❤

Thank you, friend

 

[Obliviate]

I totally wanted to do that method but it's like at least 200 bucks to rent the tank and I don't have a way to bring in a gigantic tank into my house without my family asking questions. It would be my preferred method besides opiate overdose if I thought I could pull it off.

If you live in the US you can have it shipped to you and buy it for about $260. You don't need a HUGE tank. The rest of the supplies are fairly cheap.

The first time, nothing happened and I used up all the gas. The second and third time I kept feeling like I was suffocating and had to rip the bag off

Did you use an exit bag or some mask/hood? The first time meaning nothing happen as in you didn't go unconscious? Was the gas pure? Did you make a decent exit bag? Regulator? Air flow?

 

[damaged_soul]

Honestly I'm not super worried about the side effects that the SN will cause, as I would much rather experience 15-30 mins of discomfort than 90 fucking years of suffering on this miserable planet. I'm more worried about how I'll manage to get the SN in me in the first place, as I'm a baby who can't handle bad-tasting drugs. I failed my last suicide attempt with caffeine powder because it was too bitter for me to get down. Also I'm worried that while I'm experiencing the SN symptoms, I'll freak out and end up calling 911 and then be put into a fucking psych ward. Getting put into a fucking psych ward is my worst nightmare.

 

[HelloIMustBeGoing]

If you take propranolol with SN, the unpleasantness will last more like 4 minutes until you pass out. And even without, it's more like 12 minutes to unconsciousness. And I am not sure labored breathing occurs before you pass out. Definitely nausea, bad taste, racing heart.

 

[123hopeitspainfree]

I feel helium would be better then sn I didn't know sn had that many bad effects to it well besides the one I want to achieve lol I would do heroin overdose but as a heroin addict It's fairly hard for me and very costly







I

 

[Amccorm2]

Yeah, gun would be nice. I'd just feel bad leaving that mess for my dad, I suppose I'd go to a hotel room if I chose that method

It's harder than it sounds. Especially with a shotgun.

 

[Lonerzepam]

Yeah I'm thinking about this too alot. It has gotten to the point that if I do I automatically hold my breath to see how it's like. It scares me even more. I really should stop doing that but it has somehow become an automatic reflex by my body and brain to prevent me actually taking the SN. As weird as it's sounds.

I also had some H overdoses. Not injecting though. Just snorting. But way too much. And not with the intention of actually kms. I get what people say by that pleasurable sensation of an H OD. But it's still dying and it just felt horrible not being able to breath. No matter what dying will never be very pleasurable. It's dying after all...But H also has more risks as it's not reversable...I still wonder then why SN is tbh

Sometimes I consider jumping even better than SN cuz your'e dead in a split of a second if you don't fail. Or a quick well aimed shot to the brainstam would take milliseconds one wouldn't even notice. But your'e really fucked if you fail in both cases. So N is probably the best and safest option here.

But yeah man dying is just dying and will always be freightening. But living for most can also be very painfull. One has to choose. Very hard to make the final decision though. But it's inevitable after all.

Take care friend

 

[jodes2]

Yeah I'm thinking about this too alot. It has gotten to the point that if I do I automatically hold my breath to see how it's like. It scares me even more. I really should stop doing that but it has somehow become an automatic reflex by my body and brain to prevent me actually taking the SN. As weird as it's sounds.

I also had some H overdoses. Not injecting though. Just snorting. But way too much. And not with the intention of actually kms. I get what people say by that pleasurable sensation of an H OD. But it's still dying and it just felt horrible not being able to breath. No matter what dying will never be very pleasurable. It's dying after all...But H also has more risks as it's not reversable...I still wonder then why SN is tbh

Sometimes I consider jumping even better than SN cuz your'e dead in a split of a second if you don't fail. Or a quick well aimed shot to the brainstam would take milliseconds one wouldn't even notice. But your'e really fucked if you fail in both cases. So N is probably the best and safest option here.

But yeah man dying is just dying and will always be freightening. But living for most can also be very painfull. One has to choose. Very hard to make the final decision though. But it's inevitable after all.

Take care friend

Yeah it sucks!