Help I don't know what to do in this situation...I'm confused. Any suggestions?

[Misery99]

So I'm 29 years old. My boyfriend is 27 years old and he is not a depressed person. I met him from online dating years ago. He knows that I take antidepressants but doesn't know that I'm extremely suicidal even now. We met in person for the first time in 2021 and I lost my virginity to him.The problem is that he plans to marry me soon in this month and I feel like I'm not ready for it. He wants to have children with me in the future but I don't want to have any children ever.We are in a long distance relationship and he lives in another country. I don't have a real job and he had supported me financially so far. He's generous but he has some negative traits like having trust issues and being jealous and possessive about me. Some time ago,I also found out that he had been looking up escorts on Google search because we shared an email address in both of our phones. I didn't tell him that I knew about it. He later deleted that email address so I no longer can see what he searches. He also smoke weed and use mushrooms to get high sometimes. His mother, father, brother and other family members know about me and supports our relationship.

In the meanwhile I met another guy from here. He's few years older than me and living in another country.He's depressed and suicidal as me and also doesn't want to have any children in the future. I think that we have many things in common. He also likes a quiet and peaceful life like me.He said that he would like to marry me if I didn't marry my current boyfriend. But he wants to meet me in person first to see if we have chemistry and get physically intimate before being 100% sure to marry me. So I have to take a risk. I don't know what to do about this. He said that he would not meet me if I marry my current boyfriend. So this is such a hard situation for me.

 

[Kempel556]

Thats a tough situation you are in, I think that if your boyfriend was looking up escorts thats a huge red flag, to marry someone that is not completely honest about what they are doing is a bit hard and the fact he deleted the account just makes it even more suspicious, who knows what he is up to now since you can´t see it no more, I don´t think that he is the right person for you to marry, but thats up to you of course, The other guy that you met recently here may have alot of things in common with you but isn´t it asking you to marry him all the sudden strange, and wanting to met you irl and to be physical, I don´t know in my head it doesn´t sound right alot could go wrong, but thats just my opinion
Hope this can help
Edit: Just remember people on the internet sometimes hide their true intentions and personality trough the computer screen.

 

[dumbgirlonline]

Talk with your boyfriend about how you're feeling and your wants/what you want out of the relationship. sometimes the people we love don't have the same plans as us, and that's okay. It might not be fair to you or him to have to choose between their wishes and their partners. Also, looking for escorts is a concerning thing, really makes me wonder what else he could be hiding. That being said, I don't know enough about your relationship with the person here on SaSu to encourage any action. As always be weary since you never really know the other persons intentions .

 

[Misery99]

Thats a tough situation you are in, I think that if your boyfriend was looking up escorts thats a huge red flag, to marry someone that is not completely honest about what they are doing is a bit hard and the fact he deleted the account just makes it even more suspicious, who knows what he is up to now since you can´t see it no more, I don´t think that he is the right person for you to marry, but thats up to you of course, The other guy that you met recently here may have alot of things in common with you but isn´t it asking you to marry him all the sudden strange, and wanting to met you irl and to be physical, I don´t know in my head it doesn´t sound right alot could go wrong, but thats just my opinion
Hope this can help
Edit: Just remember people on the internet sometimes hide their true intentions and personality trough the computer screen.

Thanks for the advice Yes that's true that he had shown many red flags and his intentions could not be really good. He's a very sexual person and wants sex all the time. I'm more of a romantic person and don't require sex always. I think me being depressed and him being normal is another mismatch. But I think it's too late to cancel his plan now. He had already booked the flight ticket.

And about the other person I met here, he offered to marry me to get me out of my country which is a bad place to be. And we had known each other since 2020 and we had conversations on and off. We only started chatting frequently since the end of last year.

Talk with your boyfriend about how you're feeling and your wants/what you want out of the relationship. sometimes the people we love don't have the same plans as us, and that's okay. It might not be fair to you or him to have to choose between their wishes and their partners. Also, looking for escorts is a concerning thing, really makes me wonder what else he could be hiding. That being said, I don't know enough about your relationship with the person here on SaSu to encourage any action. As always be weary since you never really know the other persons intentions .

Thanks for the advice I would like to talk to him about it but I'm afraid that it would make him angry...because he has some anger issues. He would blame me asking why I didn't tell him earlier The looking at escorts incident is what made me to lose respect for him because he acted like such a gentleman before. I didn't know that he was a guy like that. I asked my mom about her opinion and she said that he could be a better man after marriage and not think too much about that. But again my mom was not really a good mom so she is not a person that I can trust.

 

[Kempel556]

Thanks for the advice Yes that's true that he had shown many red flags and his intentions could not be really good. He's a very sexual person and wants sex all the time. I'm more of a romantic person and don't require sex always. I think me being depressed and him being normal is another mismatch. But I think it's too late to cancel his plan now. He had already booked the flight ticket.

And about the other person I met here, he offered to marry me to get me out of my country which is a bad place to be. And we had known each other since 2020 and we had conversations on and off. We only started chatting frequently since the end of last year.

Even though he already booked the flight you are not obligated to comply to what his plans are, you should do what you feel like its best for you, not because someone else already told you how things are going to happen. And even if the other guy offered to marry you to get you out of your country because its a bad place to live you should be on alert since you never know someones intentions, who knows what will happen to you if you leave your country, with the way the world is we should always be alert to danger.