Ive had a really hard life, abused by family. neglected by others, dropped out of college had a few mental break downs and lost most of my friends. felt really alone for a long time. had a really good friend who while he tried to be there for me hurt me so many times that i told myself I must have deserved it. but he did help me find a stable career, i found a boyfriend with so many issues to the point the relationship should have ended. just a toxic relationship. but i put in alot of work to help him change so we could be better for each other. and thats all i had, my friend, my boyfriend, and a possible new start at everything. well after all of that ive been laid off twice, my best friend hasnt talked to me in 6 months suspiciously after i tried to talk to him about how he made me fill. the comversation didnt go well. and my 5 year relationship might be blowing up soon because my boyfriend is a gay christian and apparently never made peace with that. its tearing him up to feel like "god" is sending him messages to leave or he'll burn in hell. he thinks god put me in his life to bring him closer to god. no one will ever understand how much deep hatred I have for religion. i told him i would stick it out because i hoped he could work through it but sometimes it just feels like waiting for it all to end. i bought him a car, helped him move into his own apartment, he says im the perfect boyfriend and hes always the one with issues and hes sorry but none of this feels fair.
well todays my birthday, a bit hard to enjoy it considering everything
Idk if your boyfriend would be open to this or how close you live to a city/politically blue area but there are Christian churches that support LGBTQIA people and have members from different orientations & genders who attend there.
And you can Google for websites with directories about how accepting they are that use a rating system. (The best rated ones allow LGBTQIA people to be hired as the pastor there & to have marriage ceremonies there & support and accept everyone without restrictions)
There is also something called "deconstruction" and some of these churches teach that or have book clubs where they read about it. And I think it basically explains the way people use the Bible to oppress others even though Jesus' message was actually about loving & accepting everyone. Especially for people who were raised in the church that taught you could only be Christian if you agreed with one side of politics (that is homophobic, etc.) And it also explains how the verses in the Bible that people quote don't actually mean that being gay is a sin when the language & cultural history from the time it was written is taken into context and interpreted properly.
There are also some Christian pastors who don't believe that hell is real and I think that the verses about "hell" in the Bible are actually also interpreted differently than what most Christians believe. Because one interpretation of the Bible is that all the stories are metaphors to explain certain lessons using stories and didn't necessarily all literally happen. And lots of the stories in the Bible are actually about Jesus himself doing this whenever he told parables. Also, I will search this, but I'm not sure if hell is actually mentioned in the Bible.
But you could tell your boyfriend about this and see if he wants to look into it more.
Also, happy late birthday (sorry it wasn't happy, but wanted to acknowledge it still
)
And I wanted to also acknowledge how much you have helped your boyfriend
Also, I'm sorry about how rough life has been
Idk if your boyfriend would be open to this or how close you live to a city/politically blue area but there are Christian churches that support LGBTQIA people and have members from different orientations & genders who attend there.
And you can Google for websites with directories about how accepting they are that use a rating system. (The best rated ones allow LGBTQIA people to be hired as the pastor there & to have marriage ceremonies there & support and accept everyone without restrictions)
There is also something called "deconstruction" and some of these churches teach that or have book clubs where they read about it. And I think it basically explains the way people use the Bible to oppress others even though Jesus' message was actually about loving & accepting everyone. Especially for people who were raised in the church that taught you could only be Christian if you agreed with one side of politics (that is homophobic, etc.) And it also explains how the verses in the Bible that people quote don't actually mean that being gay is a sin when the language & cultural history from the time it was written is taken into context and interpreted properly.
There are also some Christian pastors who don't believe that hell is real and I think that the verses about "hell" in the Bible are actually also interpreted differently than what most Christians believe. Because one interpretation of the Bible is that all the stories are metaphors to explain certain lessons using stories and didn't necessarily all literally happen. And lots of the stories in the Bible are actually about Jesus himself doing this whenever he told parables. Also, I will search this, but I'm not sure if hell is actually mentioned in the Bible.
But you could tell your boyfriend about this and see if he wants to look into it more.
Also, happy late birthday (sorry it wasn't happy, but wanted to acknowledge it still
)
And I wanted to also acknowledge how much you have helped your boyfriend
Also, I'm sorry about how rough life has been
Here are some comments on a video about the history of "hell" (I think it's too complicated for me to research right now & I also have religious trauma so probably won't)
#1 "It is also worth noting that the terms we use in the modern languages are derived either from the Germanic "Hellheim" or the Hellenistic "Hades", both originally describing cold, dark and boring places rather than something hot, burning and painful."
#2
"Also, both words are from people groups that the Biblical authors would have considered wicked pagans."
#3 "The name is taken from the old Norse mythology.
Helheim, Hel was the opposite place of Valhall.
If you didnt die on the battlefield you ended up down in Hel.
Another thing that christianity stole from the pagan religions."
#4 "Sheol wasn't "hell" Sheol was basically just the Hebrew word for grave or underground. It didn't mean anything spiritual."
