Venting I don't know if I'm gaslighting myself or not

[RestlessTaiga]

I don't know why, but sometimes I find myself with hope for the future, and moments like this I try to be more energetic, more positive, try seeing things on the bright side, but, I always go back to square one after a few days, it's a cycle that happens every now and then, and I think it's started again.

I don't know why this happens, it's like I can decide if I'm want to try or not, and it's moments like this that I start to doubt myself, I start thinking if my depression is real or if I'm just faking it.

This topic always comes to my mind every now and then, and it's very tiring.

 

[fedup1982]

A lot of people feel like they're faking depression or other mental illnesses, its a common theme and points towards the likelihood that you're not faking it! The struggles are real. We might have OK moments but it's the struggles we need to give ourselves credit for getting through

 

[Hvergelmir]

it's like I can decide if I'm want to try or not [...] if I'm just faking it

I think it's misguided to think in terms of "realness".

It's true that one can control ones own mood and outlook, to an extent. But even if you were to suffer from "faked" depression, that's still depression; self-induced, but still a non-desirable state.

The less real the depression is, the better. Try to be as happy and productive as you can.
Depression doesn't have to be a rigid chronic state to get some seal of approval.

Same goes for other conditions. The more we can mitigate them and live good lives, the better.