I don't know if I want to CTB or if I'm just lazy (18M)

[FunctionallyExtinct]

As title is. I'm failing university due to my autism, ADHD, generalised anxiety disorder and clinical depression (all four are diagnosed). Some of this stems from me being trans and years away from top surgery. I have an awesome therapist, good parents, we're financially secure and in a country that isn't America, great friends online and in person but apparently that's not enough for my stupid brain.

Thing is, my last bout of suicidal thoughts occurred almost two years ago when I had exams. So am I really suicidal or just gaslighting myself into thinking I am so I can try and get help to get out of school? I don't fucking know. What I do know is that I need to put this cycle to an end one way or another because I'm so godddamn tired.

 

[klantedklaw]

Do you like studying in university? are you truly passionate and want nothing more in life than to study what you're currently doing?

If the answer is no than perhaps university isn't for you. Lots of people don't truly care about university and are only there because society pushes it onto people to get a degree.

For me at least I was only in university because my family pressured me, I hated every moment - and I eventually got tired of pretending I care and left, best decision of my life - no more stress and depression from studying