Discussion I don't feel sad about wanting to die

[tobby rabbit]

I'm not alone, right?
Like actually, I feel silly and goofy when I'm thinking about commuting suicide.
I remember having so much sad thoughts everytime I was telling myself that I want to die. Then I started getting used to them and for a very long time I felt emptiness in replace of sadness, and now, that I decided to go with SN method I feel goofy like I'm thinking about my favorite food or some shit.

Is it common and just feel like it's weird?

 

[Daxter_87]

I'm not encouraging you, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to die. What it is is a natural response to pain when it is no longer bearable - or it is, but we rightfully don't want to endure it, anyway. It is also the realisation that there's nothing inherently valuable in staying alive and, worst of all, that the only thing we are pretty much guaranteed to experience is suffering.

So you are not weird for having a death wish; it is your right and it should be respected. I hope everything goes well for you, whatever you decide to do.

 

[JustAGuy]

I'm not alone, right?
Like actually, I feel silly and goofy when I'm thinking about commuting suicide.
I remember having so much sad thoughts everytime I was telling myself that I want to die. Then I started getting used to them and for a very long time I felt emptiness in replace of sadness, and now, that I decided to go with SN method I feel goofy like I'm thinking about my favorite food or some shit.

Is it common and just feel like it's weird?

You've hit the fabled "you'll get used to it" stage, where you've lived in pain for so long the idea of change becomes funny. You've adapted emotionally, morbidly so. I don't believe it's too uncommon as I myself am in a similar state over a slightly different matter than CTB'ing tho the emotions might come back and hit you at unconventional moment.

 

[corgiee]

this is how i felt before my first attempt. you're definitely not alone.

 

[suicidalenby]

I'm not alone, right?
Like actually, I feel silly and goofy when I'm thinking about commuting suicide.
I remember having so much sad thoughts everytime I was telling myself that I want to die. Then I started getting used to them and for a very long time I felt emptiness in replace of sadness, and now, that I decided to go with SN method I feel goofy like I'm thinking about my favorite food or some shit.

Is it common and just feel like it's weird?

to be honest, for me it's like that with cutting, not as much suicide. I feel a lot of guilt around suicidal thoughts, but around my sh not really as much

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I see death as being the only relief as I believe it to be perfect non-existence for all eternity, I see nothing sad about being unable to suffer, instead to me non-existence is true peace. I don't see how finally being free from this existence I was burdened with could ever be a sad thing as I see existence in itself as being the true problem, it's the ultimate source of all harm and it's just something that causes suffering and dread, leading to nothing but decay.

The sad thing for me is how suicide is cruelly made so inaccessible, it's sad how there's so much unnecessary torment in this world as a result of this so your feelings certainly are understandable, I could personally never understand those who are sad about leaving this world as for me death means freedom.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

There's nothing wrong with the desire wanting to die as long as you are in peace with your decision as after all this may be the relief from your suffering. I'm not sad about my own desire to die. I hope I will find the strength do do the last and final step. I hope you find peace!

 

[rosenrot]

i can relate a lot to this too, but its either idc what happens to me nothing really matters to constant crying and reflecting on how badly things have gone wrong in my life. There is a lot of comfort in treating things not as big as they actually are, but it is difficult as i'll always be a sensitive and emotional person inside.

 

[doneforlife]

I'm not encouraging you, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to die. What it is is a natural response to pain when it is no longer bearable - or it is, but we rightfully don't want to endure it, anyway. It is also the realisation that there's nothing inherently valuable in staying alive and, worst of all, that the only thing we are pretty much guaranteed to experience is suffering.

So you are not weird for having a death wish; it is your right and it should be respected. I hope everything goes well for you, whatever you decide to do.

I have reached a time in my life where I am not liking life anymore. And I was questioning this to myself...do I really have to like it ? Is something wrong with me mentally? There are people who like sports and there are people who don't. There are people who like to travel and there are people who don't. There are people who like to eat and there are people who don't. And so the list goes on...and if there are people who like life with all its challenges and struggles and complexities..fine...but if there are people who don't like anything about life...they are mentally ill !! I don't understand the hypocrisy.

 

[HAL 9000]

All I've felt since embracing this desire is freedom. All the tears have been shed and I've put that shit behind me. Perhaps it's because I came to the conclusion when I wasn't emotionally compromised.

 

[アホペンギン]

Same with me, around 6 years ago when i was 12, i'd start crying when i had suicidal thoughts (stupid, i know.) Now, i know that its my only choice and all the emotion i feel is always positive, like i'm looking forward to it (i am, though. but that started recently.) I don't know what happened that made me suddenly think like this but i like it. And your situation is the same as mine, when i'm thinking about drinking the SN, i think about eating my favorite food, lol.

 

[.seethroughme.]

I don't feel anything towards it. It just is.

I don't see my life changing in any meaningful way - because I don't have the energy too. I'm tired and alone and there is no one to carry the load when I can't.

Society is way to complicated now and you would think that with that complexity there would be ways to deal with the core reasons for suicide. But there aren't.

 

[tobby rabbit]

Same with me, around 6 years ago when i was 12, i'd start crying when i had suicidal thoughts (stupid, i know.) Now, i know that its my only choice and all the emotion i feel is always positive, like i'm looking forward to it (i am, though. but that started recently.) I don't know what happened that made me suddenly think like this but i like it. And your situation is the same as mine, when i'm thinking about drinking the SN, i think about eating my favorite food, lol.

You've put that much better with words then I did. I can relate to you

 

[Alltheywanted]

I actually feel comfort in suicide thoughts. They are with me no matter if I'm feeling good or bad. Ig I'm just used to them.

 

[Myexit]

I feel a sense of happiness, adventure at the prospect of never having to breathe another breath on this cruel earth.
I need to stock up on N or SN and things, can anyone please help this newbie?

 

[StarFaded]

I feel a sense of happiness, adventure at the prospect of never having to breathe another breath on this cruel earth.
I need to stock up on N or SN and things, can anyone please help this newbie?

I don't feel happiness or adventurous, more just looking forward to getting away from the pain of life and just not existing, since I'm a worthless nobody. My worthless and unimportant life should be meaningless and forgotten. I feel numb to everything else.

I too, need help with getting some SN or N. I live in NZ so it's significantly more difficult now for me to get any SN which really fucking sucks. If anyone can point me in the right direction on how I can get them, I'll be grateful.