I don’t feel pretty

[clicktokill]

I've gotten so many different surgeries ever since I was 14 I've gotten 2 nose jobs jaw surgery and countless fillers in my face to make myself look better and I still don't ever feel pretty enough I'm always planning my next surgery I lost so much weight I'm 5'4 and weigh 89 pounds I still feel fat and disgusting I just tried to peel the skin off my face because I felt so ugly. I'm always fucking a new guy but none will stay I just want someone to love me and think I'm pretty I don't understand how some people are so average looking and have all that I want I try so hard but I don't have that and it's all that I want honestly I know sounds stupid but all I've ever really wanted is a boyfriend and I've never had a real one. There's this guy I've been talking to but I can tell he's lost interest he won't even text me as much anymore. I'm afraid they can all tell I'm weird in a way and that's why they don't like me they can tell there's something wrong with me and my looks won't conceal my mental health issues I just feel like ending it right now I feel like just running into traffic or something I feel so unloveable and gross.

 

[paranoias64]

i feel the same way girl. i hope u find peace somehow <3

 

[tomame]

perhaps you have body dysmorphia. i am not satisfied with my looks either. but i can assure you the more i got out of my ego and realized my looks didn't play into my relationships as much as i believed .. it was actually quite freeing .. and made me realize how much vanity i was projecting .. rather than the other way around.

looks are definitely important .. but people are not as shallow as our body dysmorphia would have us believe. if a guy isn't sticking around .. perhaps you aren't choosing correctly .. or evaluating yourself correctly against the one that would be best for you ..

just my experience. hope it's useful.

p.s. at 5'4" less than 100 pounds (twiggy model stats) .. i can assure you it may not be your looks as to why a guy isn't sticking around ;) hehe

 

[clicktokill]

perhaps you have body dysmorphia. i am not satisfied with my looks either. but i can assure you the more i got out of my ego and realized my looks didn't play into my relationships as much as i believed .. it was actually quite freeing .. and made me realize how much vanity i was projecting .. rather than the other way around.

looks are definitely important .. but people are not as shallow as our body dysmorphia would have us believe. if a guy isn't sticking around .. perhaps you aren't choosing correctly .. or evaluating yourself correctly against the one that would be best for you ..

just my experience. hope it's useful.

p.s. at 5'4" less than 100 pounds (twiggy model stats) .. i can assure you it may not be your looks as to why a guy isn't sticking around ;) hehe

Yeah I'm also definitely a shell of a person I care so much about my looks it's often all I talk about sometimes I've been told I'm too sad for a relationship I don't really understand cause I'd be happy if I was in one I'm just so terribly lonely no matter how pretty everyone tells me I am I feel so weird saying that but like I don't know beauty truly brings more loneliness than joy

i feel the same way girl. i hope u find peace somehow <3

You as well :)

 

[wave211]

The reason I am ugly, because the mother of mine choose to have kids with ugly man..

 

[redmourningdove]

I think you have soooo much more to offer than just your looks. The fact that you're introspective enough to realize what you want instead of just trying to indulge away the pain with sex is...already more mature than a lot of people. You've already realized from those average looking girls with loving boyfriends, that looks may not matter as much as you think they do. Body dysmorphia is vicious, and that thought alone isn't going to make it go away, but worth thinking about. Please don't listen to anyone who says you're too sad for a relationship. Your emotional vulnerability will be a great strength in the right context, and there are definitely many guys looking for exactly that. I know you'll find what you're looking for.

 

[54321song]

I feel the exact same way, but haven't had the chance to get anything done yet. Hoping to get somewhat better by going to therapy but not sure. Sending hugs.

 

[SASU-KE]

It seems like a type of body dysmorphia. Unfortunately, some people will never be able to accept themselves, no matter what they look like. It's a mental thing. Many bodybuilders also have it.