Venting I do not know when I should kill myself.

[grosz]

As the title says, I do not know when I should kill myself. I have everything ready already. Got my SN, tested it out to see if it works, I can do it in any moment I want, alas I do not know when to do it.
I still feel like something big may happen that will change my life, that it will make it better, but I know that nothing like this will ever occur. Yet, I am still here waiting for something to happen, I just cannot grasp that I can kill myself and end this misery, I just feel like I am not ready for it and will not ever be, although I want to do this so much that it is unreal. I feel like I must do it, but my guts are telling me that something big will happen and everything will change for better, I guess hope is now my only and my biggest enemy.

Does any of you feel the same? I cant be alone with this situation.

 

[jodes2]

Yeah, I hang on in the hope life will become bearable so I don't hurt my gf. But since she technically just dumped me, maybe I'm free to Kms now

 

[Someone123]

It's better to be more sure before taking the big step to ctb. As far as something big happening, what could happen that would help? Would it be fimnding someone for a relationship, would it be some big improvement financially, would it be resolving a family dispute, or finding more friends? It could be helpful to list your main reasons for wanting to leave to see if people have ideas for things that might help.

 

[BipolarExpress]

If you don't feel you're ready yet, don't do it.

(I can empathize with your indecision! I bought SN last month and have thought about doing it every weekend since then, but I haven't done it yet because I keep thinking that my affairs aren't in order yet. Never mind that I won't be around to see what happens after I die! #OCDProblems)