madcowz
Member
- May 10, 2025
- 10
I struggle a lot with obsessiveness and have been obsessed with a guy for the past 3ish years and just recently we finally got closer and then he got mad at me and left, this has happened before and I've always gotten him back since he doesn't hold grudges but I am so tired now
I can't really live a life that's worth living without him in it because everything I do is because I want him to see me, I've tried to kill myself before due to this and I've always failed because I was scared and chickened out and my methods have always been to slit or try to hit a vein and die from blood loss, I've slit my throat a few times but it's really only been performative because I actively avoided the places I knew would harm me greatly, I'm very scared of the consequences if I fail as well because I really do not want to be disabled in any way
I just learnt a new method I believe it was called shallow water blackout and I'm going to try it, I hope I do succeed because my borderline personality disorder is so fucking tiring
I can't really live a life that's worth living without him in it because everything I do is because I want him to see me, I've tried to kill myself before due to this and I've always failed because I was scared and chickened out and my methods have always been to slit or try to hit a vein and die from blood loss, I've slit my throat a few times but it's really only been performative because I actively avoided the places I knew would harm me greatly, I'm very scared of the consequences if I fail as well because I really do not want to be disabled in any way
I just learnt a new method I believe it was called shallow water blackout and I'm going to try it, I hope I do succeed because my borderline personality disorder is so fucking tiring
