Help i did something extremely inappropriate

[violetforever]

im so socially awkward with men because i have none in my life and im rarely around any so when i feel comfortable and familiar with one, i just feel excited about it to the point that my behavior towards them comes off as nervous and flirty. thats embarrassing enough but today i really crossed the line with my literal teacher who is married with a child. i dont even want to get into details, i just touched him playfully and the entire situation seemed like an excuse to touch him. we were alone in the classroom which makes it worse. like great now i think im going to get in trouble or something. i dont know how im going to face him in the next class this week. i think he already assumed i like him because of how i act and speak with him. i dont even like him though, at least not consciously i think? whats wrong with me? why do i always have to act like this with any man older than me? its like i demand the attention. god violet you better hope your awkwardness is seen as endearing and that youre considered cute and young enough to have a fucking schoolgirl crush incident like this taken as inoffensive.

 

[Rainork]

Try not to overthink it.
You said you touched him playfully and I'm sure that's all he took from it- don't let yourself get overwhelmed by 'maybes' if you can help it.
We are all human, things happen sometimes and that's okay

 

[Hvergelmir]

...a fucking schoolgirl crush incident like this taken as inoffensive.

As a man, my advice would be to stop worrying about it.
Men are not nearly as easily offended as women, when it comes to those things. I think it's the physical advantage and the culture that stems from that, that makes it much less threatening.
Unless you were both overtly sexual and highly persistent, both you and him, are probably fine.

 

[violetforever]

Try not to overthink it.
You said you touched him playfully and I'm sure that's all he took from it- don't let yourself get overwhelmed by 'maybes' if you can help it.
We are all human, things happen sometimes and that's okay

thanks :( i can tell he was caught off guard and didnt know what to say after i touched him though. i immediately regretted it and felt so weird that i just tried to get out of there as quickly as i could. i know its not ok to randomly touch people like that, especially someone who has authority over me. i seriously interact like a 12 year old. i just misconstrue compliments and attention from men and assume it means they like me which influences this behavior i guess.

As a man, my advice would be to stop worrying about it.
Men are not nearly as easily offended as women, when it comes to those things. I think it's the physical advantage and the culture that stems from that, that makes it much less threatening.
Unless you were both overtly sexual and highly persistent, both you and him, are probably fine.

thank u for the male perspective on this lol it reassured me a little. im scared of mens attraction to me and try to ignore it but then i also invite the attraction by behaving this way. i just want to never leave my room again until i learn how to get my brain to function normally.

 

[Uncounted1846]

Awareness of a problem is a huge first step so kudos for recognizing you do it! Now all you have to do is stop touching people. It's that simple. :)

 

[violetforever]

Awareness of a problem is a huge first step so kudos for recognizing you do it! Now all you have to do is stop touching people. It's that simple. :)

thanks im embarrassed by my childlike behavior and nature. i havent done this since i was like 13 :/ i hope my teacher is understanding and will just move past it.

 

[Uncounted1846]

thanks im embarrassed by my childlike behavior and nature. i havent done this since i was like 13 :/ i hope my teacher is understanding and will just move past it.

As someone who used to do the same thing (touching to form a connection, overanalyzing it afterwards) he probably didn't think twice about it.

 

[BradGuy123]

You didn't say how old you are - if this is high school or college. My guess is that the teacher is going to be professional about it, pretend it never happened, and never bring it up again. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 

[violetforever]

You didn't say how old you are - if this is high school or college. My guess is that the teacher is going to be professional about it, pretend it never happened, and never bring it up again. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

im in college i hope thats what happens.

 

[whywere]

Do not even think about it, water over the dam.


I was in business world for over 50 years and have situations where a lady has bumped into me or jokingly grabbed me and I never thought nothing of it ever.

I would rather have someone want to touch my arm instead of hitting me.

Think nothing of it at all and move on, I bet 100% he has.

Walter

 

[violetforever]

Do not even think about it, water over the dam.


I was in business world for over 50 years and have situations where a lady has bumped into me or jokingly grabbed me and I never thought nothing of it ever.

I would rather have someone want to touch my arm instead of hitting me.

Think nothing of it at all and move on, I bet 100% he has.

Walter

thank u so much ur words mean a lot to me and i feel less nervous about going to class again.

 

[BradGuy123]

im in college i hope thats what happens.

I can almost guarantee that's what happens. Most college professors are professional. They want to keep the professor/student boundary in place. Fraternizing with a student in his class is likely grounds for termination of employment. Very few professors are willing to risk their jobs over this. I say don't sweat it. He will act like it never happened.

 

[Proceed]

Eh don't beat yourself up about it.

 

[violetforever]

Eh don't beat yourself up about it.

i honestly think this simple reply with ur george costanza pfp just healed me entirely about the situation)

 

[Pluto]

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

If George Constanza isn't enough, let Dolan Duck reassure you too. If anything it was more awkward than deeply inappropriate. It's not like you propositioned the guy or full-on groped him or anything. And as a man it's not even remotely weird for a woman to briefly touch us playfully or whatever. It happens all the time. Unless you're an incel. Probably.

 

[violetforever]

If George Constanza isn't enough, let Dolan Duck reassure you too. If anything it was more awkward than deeply inappropriate. It's not like you propositioned the guy or full-on groped him or anything. And as a man it's not even remotely weird for a woman to briefly touch us playfully or whatever. It happens all the time. Unless you're an incel. Probably.

ok lol thank u c: i can handle awkward i guess. i actually do really well in this class, i have a perfect score (or i did until i just got a C on a quiz ugh) so at least my teacher knows i take the class and my work seriously…

 

[violetforever]

im past this now, its just funny to me, but today in class my teacher was avoiding looking at me or acknowledging me even though i sat directly in front of him so i can tell he still feels uncomfortable about me and the situation lol oops

 

[whywere]

im past this now, its just funny to me, but today in class my teacher was avoiding looking at me or acknowledging me even though i sat directly in front of him so i can tell he still feels uncomfortable about me and the situation lol oops

Sorry, but I disagree with you, as I bet he does not even think or remember it at all.

Life moves on and we are ALL human.

Please try and not be so hard on yourself, as you are a lovely soul.

Brillant sunny blue skies to you with a wonderful sun rise and sun set.

Walter

 

[violetforever]

well today my teacher pulled me outside during class and scolded me. i kind of knew it was coming when he began by asking me "how are you doing?" lol. i felt talked down to like a child with that fake of a question, which is probably what i deserve. looking back, i honestly didnt mean it this way but earlier in class i realize i said something sort of dismissive of his wife when he mentioned her he was visibly upset with me afterwards, he wouldnt even look my way when i tried to ask him questions. anyway, he said my behavior and how close i get to him makes him uncomfortable and that its "honestly childish" and needs to stop. he even kind of mentioned that i behave the same way with some male classmates. he said he wanted to talk to me first in case i wasnt aware of how im acting. i guess i appreciate that since he couldve just went directly to the dean. im projecting most of my annoyance towards myself onto everyone else but i really dont like how he implied i distract male classmates or something as if they arent fucking capable adults, some literally way older than i am, too. now i feel like my teacher sees me as smart but a young troubled girl with self esteem and daddy issues. maybe im annoyed that he clearly sees my flaws and reacted negatively to them. i just dont really know how to behave correctly. i dont have a normal inbetween. when im comfortable its social and over friendly to the point of apparently pushing boundaries and when im not its quiet and reclusive. im sad cause i like this class and hes a good teacher but i ruin everything with my awkwardness and immaturity. hes right, im childish. maybe ill recover from this over spring break. its only going to get me in more trouble if i give my teacher the cold shoulder when i see him talking happily to other students like i did today after we went back inside. can i grow up?

 

[U. A.]

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[itsgone2]

No offense, trying to help, but I think you have a problem. You've admitted in another post that you're attracted to married men. He's a married man and you're saying you crossed a line.
TBH I wish I was more like him. When I was married I met a few women like yourself. I never cheated but I also never tried to stop it, or would even flirt back. Terrible. I regret it immensely.

He's sticking up for his wife and family by drawing a sharp boundary.
Again I'm not trying to be critical but you know you have an issue here and it's not right putting him in this position. I'd say attend class but keep a low profile. Or even apologize if you can.

 

[violetforever]

Saying
is kinda shitty of you, but the rest is shitty of him imo; he's a professor not some kind of bible camp counsellor (unless he is). Hard to know without more context; parts of this update sound critical of his assessment of you, but others sound like an admission that he isn't wrong.

no it was definitely shitty once i realized too late how my words came off. i dont care enough to think before i speak and im always saying the wrong thing. my childishness makes me think im above punishment or something. this was probably the last straw. he was right to get upset about that and also finally have a private talk with me about everything. when he asked how i was, i took it as him trying being nice enough to find out if something is going on in my life to make me have this sort of behavior. ummm how do i quickly explain my entire childhood trauma lol? i just avoided the question and let him get on with telling me off. i see no point in sharing my true feelings except on here where people actually understand.

But overall I get the impression he may be angry that your "feminine wiles" are getting to him and he can do nothing about it.

i mean he literally told me i was making him uncomfortable and when he said that i was looking down in shame and noticed him take a step back from me to create more distance .-. i feel like im not allowed to even look at him or be near him which includes sitting in the front. i know its my fault.

No offense, trying to help, but I think you have a problem. You've admitted in another post that you're attracted to married men. He's a married man and you're saying you crossed a line.
TBH I wish I was more like him. When I was married I met a few women like yourself. I never cheated but I also never tried to stop it, or would even flirt back. Terrible. I regret it immensely.

He's sticking up for his wife and family by drawing a sharp boundary.
Again I'm not trying to be critical but you know you have an issue here and it's not right putting him in this position. I'd say attend class but keep a low profile. Or even apologize if you can.

im glad someone connected these two threads of mine. im not offended because i agree, i have a problem. i was always under the impression that taken men dont mind seemingly harmless flirtation and even feel a little flattered by it. ive seen it and experienced it. that made me so upset when i believed in love and wanted to be with someone. now that ive been spited and prefer being single, i look at it a different way and to my benefit. i think i tell myself its not that bad because i never let it become physical/sexual. i apologized like 3 times when he was talking to me but he didnt acknowledge it. maybe he didnt think i was being sincere.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

I'm a straight male but I can sort of relate. I've been starved even just for friendship or any kind of human connection as I was growing up and I know it led to weird behaviour on my part and sometimes I realized people were looking at me like I had just turned into a freak of some sort. These sorts of situations are caused by irresponsible breeding by people unfit to be caregivers. It must be stopped or the brutal suffering will just keep happening.

 

[violetforever]

I'm a straight male but I can sort of relate. I've been starved even just for friendship or any kind of human connection as I was growing up and I know it led to weird behaviour on my part and sometimes I realized people were looking at me like I had just turned into a freak of some sort. These sorts of situations are caused by irresponsible breeding by people unfit to be caregivers. It must be stopped or the brutal suffering will just keep happening.

my parents are basically incompetent and absent at proper parenting which fucked me up so definitely. i wish it was acceptable to casually disclose that information so people would understand lol.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

my parents are basically incompetent and absent at proper parenting which fucked me up so definitely. i wish it was acceptable to casually disclose that information so people would understand lol.

It should be acceptable to disclose that just as it should be unacceptable for losers and other unfit people to breed or adopt.