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i am so lainpilled :3 (? days left)
- Apr 15, 2023
- 248
I am a failed human being. I deserve to be punched and slapped and beaten and hit with objects and insulted for my deepest insecurities and made to feel like a worthless parasite and stain on this planet. I deserve to constantly serve as an object of abuse, humiliation and ostracisation. Told to kill myself. Left crying to the point of physical anguish and self harming. I thought I finally had a safe home, or an escape, but I was wrong. This all transpired months ago but it's certainly hitting me hard now. Everyday I live in fear of this cycle continuing but maybe at this point I should just accept that I only exist to suffer. I'm starting to accept it all at this point. None of my efforts ever work as planned so I just hope that one day someone just gets it over with and kills me so I can finally be free. My fear of being happy is returning. I am afraid of getting too comfortable with someone only for them to strike me or call me useless or something. Although I'd probably just accept it because maybe it's justmy place in life. I deserve to be left with injuries, both physical and in soul.
