Venting I deserve my suffering.

[Sat]

So I liked this girl and tried asking people if do I really think of it like that.

And when we discussed, it was apparent that I was only selfish. A convo of her and me would always be me, as if she wasn't there although I enjoyed her company. And the guy who knows her said she's broken. I did wanted to help her out but I didn't have the courage.

Now I feel like just ending it all by confessing to her and taking the L more than to stay silent and keep things the way they are.

I don't think I'll be able to have her company after this. But I guess I deserve to suffer for it. Can I move on? I don't know. But I deserve this extreme pain in my chest right now. At least how I think of it right now...

She was the first person I liked for years, not for sex or any of that. Just talking to her soothed me. But I do wish, she was actually there. Talking to others about it made me realize. I can never help her as I can't even help myself.

Yet, this false hope of mine, was still my light.

 

[Reflection]

Don't beat yourself up too much, you may think you screwed up, but you haven't really hurt her or anyone. I also suggest you take a chance and talk to her.

 

[Sat]

Don't beat yourself up too much, you may think you screwed up, but you haven't really hurt her or anyone. I also suggest you take a chance and talk to her.

Don't worry, as of this time I already sent a message. She's likely to ghost me but thinking about it, I'm getting rejected.


"Idk what time you're reading this, but I just needed to let this out.

As lonely as I can be, I started to like you as we talked. But that feeling is probably a fleeting one. I don't expect anything but I needed to let this out as it's been bothering me for a few days.

I'm truly a fool, no more like a child "


Adulthood is a bitch

I basically thought it's better for me to basically cancel this as I might hurt her instead. Or as people say I can't even hurt her.

 

[mrtime87]

So I liked this girl and tried asking people if do I really think of it like that.

And when we discussed, it was apparent that I was only selfish. A convo of her and me would always be me, as if she wasn't there although I enjoyed her company. And the guy who knows her said she's broken. I did wanted to help her out but I didn't have the courage.

Now I feel like just ending it all by confessing to her and taking the L more than to stay silent and keep things the way they are.

I don't think I'll be able to have her company after this. But I guess I deserve to suffer for it. Can I move on? I don't know. But I deserve this extreme pain in my chest right now. At least how I think of it right now...

She was the first person I liked for years, not for sex or any of that. Just talking to her soothed me. But I do wish, she was actually there. Talking to others about it made me realize. I can never help her as I can't even help myself.

Yet, this false hope of mine, was still my light.

No one deserves to suffer, I truly believe that. While we are all responsible for our own actions, to say we truly deserve to suffer is like locking ourselves in a box and throwing away the key. Sometimes we can't help the actions and decisions we made. I honestly believe that.