Story I chuckle inside when thinking about how neither my therapist nor family know about my plan to ctb...

[KillingPain267]

...and that normies or my family don't even know about N or the SN method. Well, they might know very soon.

 

[dopaminedeath]

why

 

[lnlybnny]

Same, it's actually funny to see them making plans thinking I want to be around in the long run

 

[KillingPain267]

why

I don't know. It makes me feel special, like I have insider knowledge that others don't. But it's probably just brain damage from depression, lol.

Same, it's actually funny to see them making plans thinking I want to be around in the long run

Exactly! Haha

 

[Onelegman]

Well, I feel bad knowing that my parents think we'll spend the next vacation together...

 

[dolemitedrums]

Your family learning about suicide methods by way of your dead body makes you laugh? I think we have different perspectives on this my friend.

 

[KillingPain267]

Well, I feel bad knowing that my parents think we'll spend the next vacation together...

I feel bad too on some level, but I suppress those feelings with laughing inside just like I have to suppress other thoughts and memories, otherwise I cannot even last a minute in sanity. To be honest, I think the chuckling inside is the start of brain damage due to severe depression and trauma. I am starting to fantasize about others finding my dead corpse.

Your family learning about suicide methods by way of your dead body makes you laugh? I think we have different perspectives on this my friend.

I know it's bad. Like I replied to Onelegman:

"I feel bad too on some level, but I suppress those feelings with laughing inside just like I have to suppress other thoughts and memories, otherwise I cannot even last a minute in sanity. To be honest, I think the chuckling inside is the start of brain damage due to severe depression and trauma. I am starting to fantasize about others finding my dead corpse."