Venting I can't write CTB letters

[puella]

I've been trying to write letters to each person I love (important family and friends) to let them know I love them, and a main public note explaining my suicide.

I don't feel like I'm able to do this. Nothing I write is good enough. Maybe I should just make an aduio of me rambling and crying for an hour right before I take SN.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Every time I tried to start writing a note I don't know what to say / write. My brain is literally empty then and I don't find good words.

If you are comfortable with audio/video recording then I think this is a very good alternative.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

i understand completely, it seem impossible to me to translate correctly what i'm going through and the reason it drive me to suicide as i'm empty and words are limited.

 

[user56765567]

I feel the same way as well. For me, it's having to much to say, not having the right words to express it but also feeling that no matter what I want to say it will either be misunderstood or not understood at all and cause more arguments, strife, and toxicity with my family. I probably won't make one myself but If I ever decide to do anything it would probably be a small audio recording to one person.

 

[Kasumi]

same thing, my head is just empty when I'm trying to write something, but other times I sometimes feel like I have lots of things to say to a person, and I use that chance to then write the things I want to say down, so I can use that as a goodbye note when the time comes.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

It is so tough. I have started writing a letter for one person, but I get lost, trying to find the right words to say. I want to tell them everything about how much I love them, how I want to see them succeed, how I am so proud of them for all that they have overcome, but there's still so much left to say. It is a huge emotional burden.

 

[Dangerdonkey333]

I'm sure that your loved ones will understand. Even if it's short/simple or emotional. An audio recording is a good idea. As morbid as it sounds, it gives them a small piece of you to listen to after you are gone.

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

I've been trying to write letters to each person I love (important family and friends) to let them know I love them, and a main public note explaining my suicide.

I don't feel like I'm able to do this. Nothing I write is good enough. Maybe I should just make an aduio of me rambling and crying for an hour right before I take SN.

What do you mean by good enough? Like can't express why or how much you care?

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I've been working on my note for over a year now.
I've written at least 50 of them, rewriting and editing and ultimately throwing them away.
I wrote one 2 weeks ago that I'm finally happy with.
I found the best way is to only state the most important points and condense it down into as small a note as possible.
@Praestat_Mori has suggested a great idea of leaving a recording.
Maybe this will be a better option for you ?