Venting i can't wait for the bus.

[colorlesshue]

im so tired, i feel like nobody in my friend group likes me and they all reply to eachother so quickly but i need to wait just for one message and its just so exhausted. im always starting a conversation and having to be the social one and sometimes i dont even get a message back and it makes me just so fucking sad. its so stupid but it hurts my feelings and i just want to have connections, i just want to feel human and alive and the last time i got so much attention from my friend group was on my birthday. the bus will come one day, but i dont know how long i can keep waiting. i just want to be talked to, treated like im apart of the group and not just an extension. i don't want to beg for attention but i just want to be noticed, and it feels like everyone there likes eachother better more than they like me.

i'm not sure they'd care if i was gone, i don't think they will but it still stops me because of this stupid guilt of leaving them and my dog behind, i also dont want my parents to find my body

im so exhausted, the only way i can cope is being self destructive and trying to cry but i can't even do that anymore. im begging for the bus to hurry, i can't keep fucking doing this.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer like that, sadly I just don't believe that many others can be relied on after all, I find it cruel how many humans just create more suffering and I understand why you'd feel so tired of it all. But anyway best wishes.

 

[ArjunRamDas]

im so tired, i feel like nobody in my friend group likes me and they all reply to eachother so quickly but i need to wait just for one message and its just so exhausted. im always starting a conversation and having to be the social one and sometimes i dont even get a message back and it makes me just so fucking sad. its so stupid but it hurts my feelings and i just want to have connections, i just want to feel human and alive and the last time i got so much attention from my friend group was on my birthday. the bus will come one day, but i dont know how long i can keep waiting. i just want to be talked to, treated like im apart of the group and not just an extension. i don't want to beg for attention but i just want to be noticed, and it feels like everyone there likes eachother better more than they like me.

i'm not sure they'd care if i was gone, i don't think they will but it still stops me because of this stupid guilt of leaving them and my dog behind, i also dont want my parents to find my body

im so exhausted, the only way i can cope is being self destructive and trying to cry but i can't even do that anymore. im begging for the bus to hurry, i can't keep fucking doing this.

I'm sorry you feel so alone and not part of the friend group. I have had that for years with my friends and so-called family.

The other week, I was recalling my bridal shower 16 years ago. Besides the host, one person showed up - an old co-worker. Not my aunt or grandmother, nor my soon to be mother in law, not my sisters in law… no other friends. It was strange and devastating and that theme has echoed through my life. And yet, people tend to say how great and special I am ..

What I find is people's words are rarely supported by their actions and in the end we are alone. It's up to us to love us. That doesn't make it feel any better though.

Well anyway, know you are not alone in the aloneness. God bless you, and everyone here who is in pain and inner suffering

 

[l_iawiet]

im so tired, i feel like nobody in my friend group likes me and they all reply to eachother so quickly but i need to wait just for one message and its just so exhausted. im always starting a conversation and having to be the social one and sometimes i dont even get a message back and it makes me just so fucking sad. its so stupid but it hurts my feelings and i just want to have connections, i just want to feel human and alive and the last time i got so much attention from my friend group was on my birthday. the bus will come one day, but i dont know how long i can keep waiting. i just want to be talked to, treated like im apart of the group and not just an extension. i don't want to beg for attention but i just want to be noticed, and it feels like everyone there likes eachother better more than they like me.

i'm not sure they'd care if i was gone, i don't think they will but it still stops me because of this stupid guilt of leaving them and my dog behind, i also dont want my parents to find my body

im so exhausted, the only way i can cope is being self destructive and trying to cry but i can't even do that anymore. im begging for the bus to hurry, i can't keep fucking doing this.

I relate to you a lot. It fucking sucks, and that shit has happened to me many times so yeah I know where ur coming from and the feeling that comes from it is just awful. I'm sorry

 

[theboy]

you can work on your social skills. it is possible and it may be difficult at first but then you will be able to do it easier.