Venting I can’t stop thinking about it

[whenwillthepainstop]

I plan to CTB in a couple months because I need lots of planning time but the thoughts are so intense and even a couple months is so much to bear. I'm in so so much pain I just want it to stop, I need it to stop. Can somebody comfort me?

 

[pinstripe]

It's hard to do. Hard to plan. Hard to execute. It's exhausting how much work it is to catch the bus. The bus stop is never right at the street corner.

 

[NeoN0va]

I feel you, since the same happened to me last year. I waited and waited, and when the day came, I chickened out and threw away the cups with the SN mix. This time it's the same, i'm waiting with catching the bus until the 22nd, on my best friend's birthday. She wanted no contact for a while until she got better, but it's been a whole month and even when I dm'd her 2 days ago to check how she's doing, I got completely ghosted, that's why i'm waiting for her birthday, to see with her personally and find out whether she wants to keep her contact with me or not. If she would be willing to keep our contact, I might stay for a little longer, as long as I don't suffer even more when we come back together, other way around, i'd just go into the woods once it gets dark and CTB there, especially that there is one spot there that means a lot to me. Just remember, you're not alone in this. There's many of us that feel the same, maybe not exactly the same, but we all have AT LEAST one thing in common, which is the will to die.

I wish you get all the strength it takes to handle it for a little longer. <333

 

[whenwillthepainstop]

I feel you, since the same happened to me last year. I waited and waited, and when the day came, I chickened out and threw away the cups with the SN mix. This time it's the same, i'm waiting with catching the bus until the 22nd, on my best friend's birthday. She wanted no contact for a while until she got better, but it's been a whole month and even when I dm'd her 2 days ago to check how she's doing, I got completely ghosted, that's why i'm waiting for her birthday, to see with her personally and find out whether she wants to keep her contact with me or not. If she would be willing to keep our contact, I might stay for a little longer, as long as I don't suffer even more when we come back together, other way around, i'd just go into the woods once it gets dark and CTB there, especially that there is one spot there that means a lot to me. Just remember, you're not alone in this. There's many of us that feel the same, maybe not exactly the same, but we all have AT LEAST one thing in common, which is the will to die.

I wish you get all the strength it takes to handle it for a little longer. <333

Thank you so much, this is one of the only places I truly feel understood. News places describe the site as some toxic hell hole but it's not like that. We all just want peace.

It's hard to do. Hard to plan. Hard to execute. It's exhausting how much work it is to catch the bus. The bus stop is never right at the street corner.

I KNOW, it's so much work just to die that sometimes I can't even be bothered because I'm already exhausted.

 

[unluckysadness]

Damn, euthanasia should be available everywhere !! WTF it drives me crazy to know some people have access to it easily. Do governments like to see disabled (or not) people shooting, hanging, jumping, and OD on drugs ?? Is it so complicated to legalize it ??

 

[Pale_Rider]

If you want comfort it's best to try to distract yourself. Do something like riding a skateboard that demands complete attention, or play a video game and make it through a map with the highest possible stats demanding complete attention. Spend a good deal of time doing this.

 

[Iaminimmensepain_1]

I plan to CTB in a couple months because I need lots of planning time but the thoughts are so intense and even a couple months is so much to bear. I'm in so so much pain I just want it to stop, I need it to stop. Can somebody comfort me?

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. Most people will be unable to comfort you or anyone won't be able to for that matter because people never know what to do in these situations. But what I can tell you is that you're not alone and we're all here for you. I'm also in a lot of pain so I know how it feels. I'm not trying to shift the focus to my problems I just want you to feel safe and loved. Most people will tell you that ctb is wrong simply because they don't know what to say. But only you can understand your situation and I'm sorry that life pushed you to the brink of taking this action. I want you to know it's not your fault and things will one day work out, possibly in another life. Till then you can always reach out to me via private messages if you need help with methods or just need to vent. I'm here<3

 

[whenwillthepainstop]

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. Most people will be unable to comfort you or anyone won't be able to for that matter because people never know what to do in these situations. But what I can tell you is that you're not alone and we're all here for you. I'm also in a lot of pain so I know how it feels. I'm not trying to shift the focus to my problems I just want you to feel safe and loved. Most people will tell you that ctb is wrong simply because they don't know what to say. But only you can understand your situation and I'm sorry that life pushed you to the brink of taking this action. I want you to know it's not your fault and things will one day work out, possibly in another life. Till then you can always reach out to me via private messages if you need help with methods or just need to vent. I'm here<3

Thank you so much, I really appreciate this. I'm still alive, I haven't started planning yet for a lot of reasons. I'm so exhausted with everything it's so much work. I hope one day you aren't in pain anymore too.

Damn, euthanasia should be available everywhere !! WTF it drives me crazy to know some people have access to it easily. Do governments like to see disabled (or not) people shooting, hanging, jumping, and OD on drugs ?? Is it so complicated to legalize it ??

I think society just doesn't like to talk about/acknowledge this type of stuff and to make that legal would be to acknowledge it.

If you want comfort it's best to try to distract yourself. Do something like riding a skateboard that demands complete attention, or play a video game and make it through a map with the highest possible stats demanding complete attention. Spend a good deal of time doing this.

But I'm sick of running away from my problems. I don't want to have to keep myself busy constantly. I want to feel better for real.