Venting I can’t stand the state of my life

[Isolatedloser]

I am feeling like suicide may be the final step in achieving freedom from suffering. I have terrible Survival Instict but just think of how things suck now and that I don't ever try to help myself. Thinking of suicide by self inflicted gunshot. I don't own my own gun but could use my parents gun. That would be devastating to my parents but maybe I just might succeed and never have to suffer in my own filth of living my life not doing shit to feel happy and fuck the meds and the world. Jesus. Fuck it all! Anyone willing to talk to me or will I be ignored? Please help
Anything helps even just acknowledgment. Thanks

 

[hell toupee]

Hey friend, I can talk.

Let me preface what I'm going to say with I support everyone's right to do with their life whatever they want. I don't walk in your shoes, so I'm not going to pretend like I know what's best for you.

You mentioned you are on meds, is it possible that this is the cause of your feelings of being worthless and wanting to CTB? Have you always felt like this? I was on 12 different meds when I got out of the hospital last year, and they messed me up so bad that I had to throw them all away - anti depressants, anti ptsd, anti anxiety, muscle relaxants, painkillers, nerve medications, etc.

I'm probably older than you, and one thing I've learned is that when you are younger, often we encounter problems that seem world ending, like there is no way out. Only later on they turn out to be nothing. Like you look back and thing "Jesus, how in the hell did I worry so much about X".

I will go smoke a cigarette and come back to see if you have responded.

You aren't along, there are many wonderfully caring people here.

 

[Isolatedloser]

Hey I am here and willing to talk. I am young and feel disparaged about life. I think I can change my life but I need help getting motivated. Hoping to hear you respond

Hey friend, I can talk.

Let me preface what I'm going to say with I support everyone's right to do with their life whatever they want. I don't walk in your shoes, so I'm not going to pretend like I know what's best for you.

You mentioned you are on meds, is it possible that this is the cause of your feelings of being worthless and wanting to CTB? Have you always felt like this? I was on 12 different meds when I got out of the hospital last year, and they messed me up so bad that I had to throw them all away - anti depressants, anti ptsd, anti anxiety, muscle relaxants, painkillers, nerve medications, etc.

I'm probably older than you, and one thing I've learned is that when you are younger, often we encounter problems that seem world ending, like there is no way out. Only later on they turn out to be nothing. Like you look back and thing "Jesus, how in the hell did I worry so much about X".

I will go smoke a cigarette and come back to see if you have responded.

You aren't along, there are many wonderfully caring people here.

 

[AZRAEL600]

Hey friend. I hope things will be better for you so that you don't have to do this. But if you decide to do it. Don't use gun. It can have massive negative consequence if you survived. All in all I hope you find your happiness and peace.

 

[Isolatedloser]

Honestly yeah that is so bad for many reasons and for me it's the fact of having my family who all love me think of how I shot myself with my parents gun. Saying this in itself is nuts that I'm even thinking this.

Hey friend. I hope things will be better for you so that you don't have to do this. But if you decide to do it. Don't use gun. It can have massive negative consequence if you survived. All in all I hope you find your happiness and peace.

 

[EternalShore]

I wish things could get better for you, and that you could be happy~ :( I'm glad that your family all loves and supports you~ :) hehe~ That is a very good thing to have~ :) especially when many others don't support each other at all~ :(

 

[Misery99]

I am feeling like suicide may be the final step in achieving freedom from suffering. I have terrible Survival Instict but just think of how things suck now and that I don't ever try to help myself. Thinking of suicide by self inflicted gunshot. I don't own my own gun but could use my parents gun. That would be devastating to my parents but maybe I just might succeed and never have to suffer in my own filth of living my life not doing shit to feel happy and fuck the meds and the world. Jesus. Fuck it all! Anyone willing to talk to me or will I be ignored? Please help
Anything helps even just acknowledgment. Thanks

It's nice to hear that you have good parents and a loving family which some of us here can't relate to...But I'm sorry to hear about you feeling suicidal..Everybody hurts here and it's tragic when suicide feels like the only way out there.

 

[Isolatedloser]

I'm not ready to give up. I need to think more about helping myself before I do anything like that.

It's nice to hear that you have good parents and a loving family which some of us here can't relate to...But I'm sorry to hear about you feeling suicidal..Everybody hurts here and it's tragic when suicide feels like the only way out there.

 

[Misery99]

I'm not ready to give up. I need to think more about helping myself before I do anything like that.

That's great and I hope that you will be able to enjoy your life.