Venting I can't remember the past few months, nor the least year or year before that one.

[GoddessAmor]

I feel like I'm living on borrowed time, for how long now I've only been alive because I'm too spineless to CTB.
I have stopped counting how many days it's been since I've locked myself into my room. I rarely leave the house and I've already resigned to this bed being my grave.
One of these days I know I'm going to do it, I know it. This year, next year, tomorrow, next week.
I feel like I've been living the same day again and again for years, months on end.
Everytime I open my door I'm only reminded I'm still alive and it makes me want to vomit.
I'm not scared of dying, I'm scared of it hurting and if it hurts then I can't do it. That's my survival instincts.
If I just get it over with, in just a moment I don't have to deal with that nauseous feeling of waking up in the morning and being reminded it's yet another day.
The clock still ticks, everyone and everything is moving on without me.
how long would it take for someone to notice anyways
not terribly long I'm guessing.

 

[ManchildLoser]

The best way to die without pain is getting Nembutal. You just die in your sleep. But the problem is its very difficult to obtain ( unless you're veterinarian )
There is the Co poisoning and exitbag methods that are also painless, but you have to make sure you do it right or its gonna fail.

 

[GoddessAmor]

The best way to die without pain is getting Nembutal. You just die in your sleep. But the problem is its very difficult to obtain ( unless you're veterinarian )
There is the Co poisoning and exitbag methods that are also painless, but you have to make sure you do it right or its gonna fail.

tysm, i will look into it

 

[FuneralCry]

From what I'm aware there is no way to obtain Nembutal at the moment, instead there are only scams so there isn't really much point to trying to find it. But I hate how difficult it can be to ctb, and I get that it's tiring feeling trapped here when you really just wish to be gone. If only the option was there to just choose to never wake again then that certainly would be ideal.