Venting I can't put down my phone

[Sadbanana]

I somehow reached the point where I barely am able to do anything else than doom scrooling. I can put down my phone and do something else, eating is kinda difficult, I barely sleep, yesterday I slept for around 4 hours and it has been this way for at least a week.

I know this is partially an addiction. But I'm terrified of my feelings and loneliness I will feel if I stop feeding my brain constant stimulus. My life is horrible and I'm on a verge of actually ending it. I guess this is maybe something like a last resort before a the last bit of hope breaks down and I will be ready to die.

 

[Chairbed3]

I see you and I'm at the exact same spot.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Me three

 

[Alpacachino]

It's all right. At least you have something that you're enjoying and keeps you occupied.
However, sleep, you gotta work on that. It's especially important for people who are depressed.

 

[Sadbanana]

It's all right. At least you have something that you're enjoying and keeps you occupied.
However, sleep, you gotta work on that. It's especially important for people who are depressed.

You are right I guess at least it's something. But I'm sure I would probably commit suicide very quickly if I lost my access to phone. I will try to work on my sleep.

 

[zdeweilx]

Our dopaminergic system is fucked

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Our dopaminergic system is fucked

Nothing makes this more obvious than the first vape hit of the day. I was still in bed.

 

[zdeweilx]

Nothing makes this more obvious than the first vape hit of the day. I was still in bed.

When your brain is fried it's already too late. Resorting to bad sources of dopamine excessively fucked mine too.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

When your brain is fried it's already too late. Resorting to bad sources of dopamine excessively fucked mine too.

The worst part is once I've used all my unhealthy dopamine pumps, that's when I start to have hope that maybe I can live.

 

[starboy2k]

im pretty sure the moment I give up all forms of coping mechanisms (music, youtube, porn, junk food etc) i will be finally sent over the edge to hang myself.

audhd and bordem is NOT a good mix, especially when you have no money to go outside and do anything…….

 

[Tobacco]

im pretty sure the moment I give up all forms of coping mechanisms (music, youtube, porn, junk food etc) i will be finally sent over the edge to hang myself.

audhd and bordem is NOT a good mix, especially when you have no money to go outside and do anything…….

I have autism and I belive very strongly the ADHD/PDA part too. It just makes a lot of sense.

I need a lot of breaks. Do I have to wash the dishes? Then I need to watch youtube for an hour. I'm glad that at work whenever there are no customers I can just use my phone and browse reddit, here and other forums.

I've sometimes thought of 'self-medicating' with certain substances just to feel more productive.