Venting I can't make up my mind whether I should ctb

[zzkhule]

It's very tiring to be on the edge between "I feel like shit but I'd rather not ctb" and "I want to ctb." I think I'm afraid of dying. Even if I had a shotgun in my hands right now I don't think I would be able to pull the trigger. But I can't live this life anymore either. I just can't make up my mind. I tried going to my uni's counseling center and they almost had me sent to a hospital against my will and were outright useless. I've lived so miserably for so many years that I don't think I can ever reintegrate back into society.

 

[DivineBreadEnjoyer]

The bus comes when you call it
Don't stress about this too much, you can take a lot of time to make up your mind and try to get better In the meantime!
If it works, great! If not, the bus won't disappear

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I feel like you should just try to live without pondering about it so much and maybe let the right feelings of what decision to make naturally come to you. God bless, and good luck with whatever you decide is right for you.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

If you don't absolutely know, then the answer should be no.

 

[coolcow1289]

My advice would be to wait until you've tried everything. Get a therapist, go on meds, fix up diet and health and your social circle, etc. You'll find out if your problems are solvable. Sometimes they aren't. Often times they are.