ImNotReal
Don't wake me up
- Jan 18, 2025
- 228
Mom grew up beating the fuck out of me yadda yadda yadda. I work a job and I give half of it to her every pay for "rent". She's constantly making comments about me and I have to listen to my parents be miserable. Constantly. I can't just move out. Every pay I'm left with about 300??? Dollars.
I spend most of that on weed every month LOL. Mom's nice enough now. She believes she's had this awakening that's made her a good person now. And constantly congratulates herself about her "progress"
She doesn't understand that she's made me this hollow disgusting evil person and I'm so fucking tired of living here and pretending and have to listen to what she did at therapy (she used to beat me for asking for therapy lol).
It is agonizing to be the way I am constantly im just this constant addict loser mess and I can't even fucking. Clean my room. I just rot and rot and work and hate and oh no parents are fighting. Oh no one of the dogs got too close to her and now I have to listen to her SCREAM and scream and say horrible things it triggers something evil in me. She yells at those fucking dogs the way she used to scream at me. She's constantly putting me in this. Panic flight or fight mode by accident
She fucking records the house I am constantly under surveillance. They talk to me like I'm not ready to blow my brains out next week.
What the fuck do I do? Seriously I can't just move out. I can't even take care of myself. I get basically no money to myself to save. Working a fucking McDonald's job then coming home to constant. Nightmare and flashbacks to when she would starve me or decided she needed to hit me with wooden sticks and shit. I feel so trapped I need to stop being such a goddamn burden and kill myselffffffff
I spend most of that on weed every month LOL. Mom's nice enough now. She believes she's had this awakening that's made her a good person now. And constantly congratulates herself about her "progress"
She doesn't understand that she's made me this hollow disgusting evil person and I'm so fucking tired of living here and pretending and have to listen to what she did at therapy (she used to beat me for asking for therapy lol).
It is agonizing to be the way I am constantly im just this constant addict loser mess and I can't even fucking. Clean my room. I just rot and rot and work and hate and oh no parents are fighting. Oh no one of the dogs got too close to her and now I have to listen to her SCREAM and scream and say horrible things it triggers something evil in me. She yells at those fucking dogs the way she used to scream at me. She's constantly putting me in this. Panic flight or fight mode by accident
She fucking records the house I am constantly under surveillance. They talk to me like I'm not ready to blow my brains out next week.
What the fuck do I do? Seriously I can't just move out. I can't even take care of myself. I get basically no money to myself to save. Working a fucking McDonald's job then coming home to constant. Nightmare and flashbacks to when she would starve me or decided she needed to hit me with wooden sticks and shit. I feel so trapped I need to stop being such a goddamn burden and kill myselffffffff
