Venting I can't handle touch deprivation anymore

[LonelyStarrySky]

Do any of you feel like you will go crazy without human touch? Nobody has touched me in years at this point. I don't know when was the last time I got hugged by someone. It feels so miserable. I am so lonely without anyone to touch or hold me in their arms. I daydream about relationships and being hugged by someone every day because its human to want this. Every human deserves to be touched. Why can't I too? If I could I would let strangers on the streets touch me how much they want if they asked me because I don't care anymore. I crave a lot of human touch and I don't know how to satiate this anymore. I am hugging pillows but they are just something to cry on not a human person. I feel like I am just the worst human trash because I am seeking out intimacy and relationships just to be hugged and loved at this point(but again isn't this the main reason to seek out relationships?). I feel like I have recieved so little ammount of love that its impossible to satisfy me anymore.


I think that the biggest reason I want to CTB is my lack of human touch and love. Because that makes me feel worthless and want to destroy this body that I hate so much. I want to hug somebody and never let go.

 

[Rack.-]

Do any of you feel like you will go crazy without human touch? Nobody has touched me in years at this point. I don't know when was the last time I got hugged by someone. It feels so miserable. I am so lonely without anyone to touch or hold me in their arms. I daydream about relationships and being hugged by someone every day because its human to want this. Every human deserves to be touched. Why can't I too? If I could I would let strangers on the streets touch me how much they want if they asked me because I don't care anymore. I crave a lot of human touch and I don't know how to satiate this anymore. I am hugging pillows but they are just something to cry on not a human person. I feel like I am just the worst human trash because I am seeking out intimacy and relationships just to be hugged and loved at this point(but again isn't this the main reason to seek out relationships?). I feel like I have recieved so little ammount of love that its impossible to satisfy me anymore.


I think that the biggest reason I want to CTB is my lack of human touch and love. Because that makes me feel worthless and want to destroy this body that I hate so much. I want to hug somebody and never let go.


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Lmao you just described my life!!. I've never had someone important ot close to spend time with cuz during the last few years I've gone down and down with the thoughts I have on myself. Like even if I like someone I never said anything because I would feel I wasn't "worthy" enough. And also ended up distancing from my friends and losing them so yeah the feeling of loneliness really hurts sometimes... It's like sometimes I just wish to hold someone closeby and very tight so it feels like a safe and comfortable place for them. But I try not to think too much about it because usually at night I'd end up sobbing when trying to sleep (don't know if anyone else relates lmao) but yeah...

 

[tiger b]

I'm so sorry...I really am...

 

[todeswunsch]

I feel the same. It has been so long since I last had a hug.
I find myself hugging pillows trying to find some relief.
Ironically I isolate myself, and find me averse of people. The paradox drives me crazy and let me alone
Loneliness is one of the major reasons I want to CTB.
Why do we need to be so lonely :/

Hope you find some one of trust that you can safely being touched

 

[nptg5]

yes. it's the main reason i want to ctb. i used to think it was sex that i was missing, but honestly i think affection is more important. i take drugs to zone out and fall asleep at night because i'm so lonely. i drink a lot of coffee and tea in the morning so that i can pretend everything doesn't suck for a few hours in the morning. most of the middle of the day i spend sad, lonely, and frustrated.

 

[Yaffle]

Do any of you feel like you will go crazy without human touch? Nobody has touched me in years at this point. I don't know when was the last time I got hugged by someone. It feels so miserable. I am so lonely without anyone to touch or hold me in their arms. I daydream about relationships and being hugged by someone every day because its human to want this. Every human deserves to be touched. Why can't I too? If I could I would let strangers on the streets touch me how much they want if they asked me because I don't care anymore. I crave a lot of human touch and I don't know how to satiate this anymore. I am hugging pillows but they are just something to cry on not a human person. I feel like I am just the worst human trash because I am seeking out intimacy and relationships just to be hugged and loved at this point(but again isn't this the main reason to seek out relationships?). I feel like I have recieved so little ammount of love that its impossible to satisfy me anymore.


I think that the biggest reason I want to CTB is my lack of human touch and love. Because that makes me feel worthless and want to destroy this body that I hate so much. I want to hug somebody and never let go.


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I get you

 

[NoHorizon]

Deriving comfort from being touched/held is wired into us from birth - it's incredibly painful to go without it for so long. I'm so sorry you aren't able to receive the love, affection and care you deserve.

For what it's worth, I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

 

[DeadHead]

Can totally relate. Having a pet can help.
But after several decades you actually don't care anymore.