Venting I can't handle my thoughts

[p4nic]

I don't even know where to start, I'm thinking about so many things at the same time that it paralyzes me completely.

Hating every aspect of my life rn, I just feel like every single thing I do is wrong, that I'm always making mistakes and that the best thing I could do is to disappear. Things are just too much for me to handle.
I keep feeling like a big failure, mostly because I get easily overwhelmed and end up messing whatever I was trying to achieve.

I'm sure I was meant to never succeed, even when attempting to ctb. I'm so afraid of living, but I'm also afraid of leaving this world, idk what to do in this state.
Just want my thoughts to leave me alone for a while so I can rest

 

[Holu]

Chin up soldier. This plane of existence is brutal. Whether it be genetics, environment, trauma, or a combination of everything we got cursed. Forced to deal with this unpleasantry and suffer through it consciously. The awareness of seeing everything go to shit is the worst part if you ask me. Anyways, if you want send me a message tomorrow if you need to talk. Otherwise rest well, all love.

 

[Pancake]

You put into words how I feel perfectly. I don't have much I want to do, but the things I do want to do I fail miserably. The feeling of being a failure overwhelms me sometimes and won't let me rest.

Acceptance of my mistakes is hard and even harder to make up for them. It feels like there's nothing I can do. If I rest, I'll feel like I'm wasting time. If I work, I'll give up. I wish I could help you but nothing seems to be working for me either.. Best of luck to you.

 

[calssilva]

you are not alone my friend...I feel the same way

 

[User00]

I hate when theres anxiety/panic bc of my thoughts.

 

[m1v]

Hm we're pretty similar. Never knowing how to begin, and even what to say.

The thoughts are so loud, they transform into voices, right? But your very own voice, just different personalities/side of yourself. I suggest you to try sleeping a shit ton for a week. It gives your thoughts time to think all they want, and in my case, they're going to slowly run out of things to say.

Have you ever taken antidepressant? It works for some people, trying it wouldn't kill. For me Zoloft/Sertraline & Xanax reduced my unwanted/intrusive thoughts, helped with anxiety as well. Quick way to make the thoughts quieter is just blasting music at a volume high enough, not too high though! Don't wanna rip your ears out.

Stay strong, even though sometimes your thoughts keep taking over, remember that you're the one in the control of it..if that made sense. Anyway much love <3

 

[Stormy Raine]

you're not alone my friend Sometimes when I feel so overwhelmed and my mind needs a break, I take my sleeping meds early, crawl up in bed and cry until I fall asleep! It's ok to take a day off, life is difficult, and sometimes escaping for the day saves me from ctb. I can't do it everyday because I have kids and bills to pay but I know by doing this I'm safe for that day. Maybe trying some psych meds and anxiety meds may help you. When I feel overwhelmed my benzos are my 1st attempt and usually works and I take my Prozac as prescribed. Hopefully today is a better day for you, if not go back to sleep

 

[voc_89]

this. This resonates with me deeply. I have tried so hard to make something of this mess of a life I was granted and every single time I make some sort of success some nonsense happens that takes me 3 steps back. That happened to me Sunday gone. So I empathise deeply with you. Lurking on this forum yesterday and being able to now communicate with you guys has helped me regain some level of my sanity though. While the backdrop is bad, knowing that its not you alone fighting helps. So please know its not you alone fighting and one day hopefully we finally get the life we deserve. On a side note, when I am trying to escape these thoughts I force myself to sleep (sometimes if its real bad I will take sleep aids). Its not great advise but the voices don't exist in your sleep

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound really tiring what you have to go through and it's very true that there is no peace from suffering to be found in this world, life certainly is so unnecessarily cruel. It's very much understandable just wishing to disappear, I really do hate how it's not straightforward to leave this world.