aikou
fix me, machine; heal me, flesh.
- Jun 3, 2024
- 20
How do I love again? It's been a year since I last felt love, affection, or pleasure. Now everything is just so meaningless and numb. This isn't a negative thing; most of the time when I appear sad, more often than not, I'm really fine, just unable to feel any positive emotion.
Sometimes, when I come back to old media I used to enjoy, I feel a small percentage of what I used to feel. I feel greatly interested; I recall being so engaged in this or that; now I'm kind of just… around.
I have a person who is trying to approach me; if it were me two years ago, I'd be head over heels instantly; now I'm just paralyzed of all positive emotion.
My emotional state is stable; I got the prescriptions I wanted, and I got some gifts under my Christmas tree. I'm grateful for everything, but I just can't enjoy it. I try to lighten up the mood by turning on the TVs, putting on some Christmas movie or some jolly songs to lighten me up, and I do feel at home, but there's something missing.
I always thought that as soon as things started looking good, I'd get better, but this is really just one big roadblock that I've hit every now and then, and every time I do hit it, I return to the slump I was in before, and I want to truly recover, slowly but surely.
If you've felt like this before or know someone who has and have any advice, please share, I'd appreciate it <3
Sometimes, when I come back to old media I used to enjoy, I feel a small percentage of what I used to feel. I feel greatly interested; I recall being so engaged in this or that; now I'm kind of just… around.
I have a person who is trying to approach me; if it were me two years ago, I'd be head over heels instantly; now I'm just paralyzed of all positive emotion.
My emotional state is stable; I got the prescriptions I wanted, and I got some gifts under my Christmas tree. I'm grateful for everything, but I just can't enjoy it. I try to lighten up the mood by turning on the TVs, putting on some Christmas movie or some jolly songs to lighten me up, and I do feel at home, but there's something missing.
I always thought that as soon as things started looking good, I'd get better, but this is really just one big roadblock that I've hit every now and then, and every time I do hit it, I return to the slump I was in before, and I want to truly recover, slowly but surely.
If you've felt like this before or know someone who has and have any advice, please share, I'd appreciate it <3