I can't even go through with an attempt. I don't even think it even counted as one

[TiredNorthStar]

Even when I try to die, I can't go through with it, I'd hiked up a hill, in the middle of nowhere, and had some glass I was planning to bleed myself out with. Stupid, I know, it was in the moment and I didn't have time to prepare anything. I know now it wouldn't have worked, but even with that, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even break the jar and get started, my mind wouldn't let me. I sat up there for hours, I had deleted my passwords, pictures, made a note, everything was there, but I just sat up there hyperventilating. That was years ago and I still can't bring myself to actually harm myself, I can hold a blade, but it just won't happen. Even for self harm, I can't go through with it, cause I've never done it before. How do you get over those barriers? If I can't stand hurting myself, and opt for curling up in bed, I'll never be able to free myself from this

 

[Ash]

I know it feels grim and miserable to fail an attempt but given your chosen method, you've probably escaped a nasty infection, maybe something like tetanus, serious, possibly life changing injuries to your muscles, tendons, nerves etc and all of that without much chance of actually risking your life. So curling up in bed and planning things properly, if that's still what you want, is definitely the way forward. This is a massive decision and can have huge implications. You don't want to fuck it up. Look after yourself today. You've been through something huge and what you're feeling now is valid and normal and so many of us on here have been through it. We remember the frustration and despair and everything else your brain throws at you and so for that, all I can say is ride it out and try to avoid doing anything impulsive. We're here if you need to vent.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so incredibly cruel how people are left with no other option but to resort to painful suicide methods in the first place and cannot just have the option to easily die in a peaceful way, I wish for a death like never waking again. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for, best wishes.