Venting I can't enjoy life

[Reywashere]

Today me and my family went to a restaurant and since there aren't fully covered closed rooms then me, my sisters, and mom had to wear niqab even while eating. We are not allowed to lift it up fully. Justa tiny opening to put food inside our mouths, or else men might see our mouths!
The funny thing is if I complain how a restaurant not having a closed room for us (women) makes it hard for me to enjoy the meal, then I am a killjoy and ruining the trip for everyone. I didn't ask to be covered, yet I'm annoying when I tell them I can't have fun since I'm wearing a dress-like outfit 24/7.
I always wanted to ride a bike but I can't. Even if I'm wearing my abya I will still "look provocative to men", my dad says.
I avoid eating an ice-cream on a cone because how am I supposed to eat it with that thing on my face? It always gets dirty.
I envy my brothers they never had to worry about the opposite sex seeing them when they go outside with not enough covering. They don't need to wear multiple layers before heading outside to simply throw the trash or pick a package. They don't need to consistently check if their hair, neck, or back is showing or wounder if lifting their hands "this high" would show too much skin that our dad would yell at them. They only need to worry if I am showing too much or not covering enough. They need to be jealous and manly enough to make sure I don't need talk to the men at the supermarket or the restaurant. They need to protect me from other hungry men and those hungry men need to protect their sisters, mothers and daughters from my brothers.
This world is silly. I don't want to take it seriously but if I don't my life might get worse.
That's why I can't (and probably won't ever) enjoy life
Idc if it's boring to read me say the same thing over and over because I get to live it over and over

 

[Lady_V]

I would hope you get a lot of empathy from people here. Studies have shown that women in Muslim countries have a higher rate of suicide and self-harm compared to the men. All because of the nasty environment shaped by those men. Instead of telling men to control themselves and hold themselves accountable, they place every single blame on the women. A nightmare.