Help I can’t cope with how frequent and graphic my intrusive thoughts are becoming.

[thelostautistic]

I didn't know what intrusive thoughts actually were until about 4/5 years ago? On reflection I actually believe I've been struggling with them since I was a child. I'd spend a lot of time visualising and thinking about dreadful things that could happen to me and others against my will and it made me so anxious. The only way I can describe intrusive thoughts are by comparing them to constant pop up ads on the internet. You're bombarded with annoying ads that you don't want to see. My brain is like that with graphic thoughts and images. They're things I don't want to see or think about and they don't align with who I am. As I've got older they've got a lot worse and they're really impacting my life now. It's like a constant feeling of impending doom.

I don't feel comfortable going into too much detail about them because intrusive thoughts are very misunderstood and I don't want to be judged. But a lot of them surround death or harm coming to myself and people I care about. There are others I have that don't surround death at all but they can be just as draining. It's like my brain is constantly thinking of the worst thing that could happen in any scenario. Things that are so unlikely it's not even worth worrying about but my brain finds a way to ruminate on it

Because I've dealt with these thoughts for so long now I'd become somewhat desensitised to a lot of the repetitive ones. But lately new thoughts have been coming up and they're really stressing me out. I'm starting to believe that I'm a dreadful person for thinking about things I don't want to think about and it's making my suicidal ideation stronger. Does anybody else deal with intrusive thoughts and if so how do you manage them?

 

[inpainnosleep]

I've dealt with the same thing since childhood. Made me think that there was something evil about me. When combined with my other mental issues, they gave me a horrible nervous break down right after college. The intrusive thoughts and images were so bad that psychiatrists kept trying to tell me I have schizophrenia even though I always knew that it was something else. They have given me so much anxiety and made my romantic relationships impossible and unenjoyably. Nobody understands how much intrusive thoughts can ruin a life. Stay strong.

 

[thelostautistic]

I've dealt with the same thing since childhood. Made me think that there was something evil about me. When combined with my other mental issues, they gave me a horrible nervous break down right after college. The intrusive thoughts and images were so bad that psychiatrists kept trying to tell me I have schizophrenia even though I always knew that it was something else. They have given me so much anxiety and made my romantic relationships impossible and unenjoyably. Nobody understands how much intrusive thoughts can ruin a life. Stay strong.

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with these too. People really don't understand how awful they are

 

[Helio_Helio]

I didn't know what intrusive thoughts actually were until about 4/5 years ago? On reflection I actually believe I've been struggling with them since I was a child. I'd spend a lot of time visualising and thinking about dreadful things that could happen to me and others against my will and it made me so anxious. The only way I can describe intrusive thoughts are by comparing them to constant pop up ads on the internet. You're bombarded with annoying ads that you don't want to see. My brain is like that with graphic thoughts and images. They're things I don't want to see or think about and they don't align with who I am. As I've got older they've got a lot worse and they're really impacting my life now. It's like a constant feeling of impending doom.

I don't feel comfortable going into too much detail about them because intrusive thoughts are very misunderstood and I don't want to be judged. But a lot of them surround death or harm coming to myself and people I care about. There are others I have that don't surround death at all but they can be just as draining. It's like my brain is constantly thinking of the worst thing that could happen in any scenario. Things that are so unlikely it's not even worth worrying about but my brain finds a way to ruminate on it

Because I've dealt with these thoughts for so long now I'd become somewhat desensitised to a lot of the repetitive ones. But lately new thoughts have been coming up and they're really stressing me out. I'm starting to believe that I'm a dreadful person for thinking about things I don't want to think about and it's making my suicidal ideation stronger. Does anybody else deal with intrusive thoughts and if so how do you manage them?

I deal with intrusive thoughts myself but the extent of it that you've described reminds me of people I know who has OCD. I'm not sure if that may be helpful but you could look into it just in case.

 

[thelostautistic]

I deal with intrusive thoughts myself but the extent of it that you've described reminds me of people I know who has OCD. I'm not sure if that may be helpful but you could look into it just in case.

I'm sorry you've experience them too. I have recently started to suspect that maybe what I'm experiencing is in fact OCD but I don't know. I'd need to speak to a professional but I don't really trust them anymore.

 

[Helio_Helio]

I'm sorry you've experience them too. I have recently started to suspect that maybe what I'm experiencing is in fact OCD but I don't know. I'd need to speak to a professional but I don't really trust them anymore.

I would say if you can find a psychiatrist (or in fact, if you can find 2-3 of them), ask them about it. But definitely, before you do, research into it just to make sure you won't be easily fooled/dismissed. If that psych doesn't even listen, then they are not the right doctor for you, switch.

It will take time though.

 

[thelostautistic]

I would say if you can find a psychiatrist (or in fact, if you can find 2-3 of them), ask them about it. But definitely, before you do, research into it just to make sure you won't be easily fooled/dismissed. If that psych doesn't even listen, then they are not the right doctor for you, switch.

It will take time though.

Thanks for your advice I've been meaning to get my diagnosis looked at for some time as I think it's incorrect. I just need to face my fear and ask someone for help.