I can't connect with people anymore

[int5]

I avoid speaking with people. I can go to the store, walk around the city, buy cigarettes but that's about it. I can't work or socialize, I feel so disconnected with the world and feel I've gone insane. It kills me that I've spent 17 years in the educational system and didn't learn how to communicate with people and have almost zero social intelligence. When I tried to open up to my psychiatrist when I still had some hope, he said to me: I can't help you I can only give you pills to block your thoughts, I wish I punched him in the head then.

 

[Justnyc]

What city

 

[Omega290]

I feel the exact same way, except I never could connect to people even when I was a child. I made an account here but rarely have anything to say, and I'm usually just replying to other peoples threads. I always thought that I couldn't connect with people but now I'm starting to think that I just don't want to. It does make life extremely lonely though.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate, being around people is exhausting to me and stresses me out. I have always been very introverted in nature. I do feel very disconnected to other people.

 

[TheSomebody]

It's hard to connect with beings like us who are known to be fake, dishonest, lazy, selfish and who take offense at anything. And even when some don't have one of these flaws, we're sure to have the others. It's impossible not to get stressed in society.

 

[Alwaysdreaming]

I'm definitely feeling the lack of communication and connection with people. When I'm around people is when I feel the loneliest. Even right now I'm nervous to post. Just because of my own insecurities.

 

[Depressed_Kettle]

I'm definitely feeling the lack of communication and connection with people. When I'm around people is when I feel the loneliest. Even right now I'm nervous to post. Just because of my own insecurities.

I often feel that way. It's difficult to deal with it and I don't know how to get better. It's overwhelming at times to say the least.

I avoid speaking with people. I can go to the store, walk around the city, buy cigarettes but that's about it. I can't work or socialize, I feel so disconnected with the world and feel I've gone insane. It kills me that I've spent 17 years in the educational system and didn't learn how to communicate with people and have almost zero social intelligence. When I tried to open up to my psychiatrist when I still had some hope, he said to me: I can't help you I can only give you pills to block your thoughts, I wish I punched him in the head then.

I feel the same way, i am poor at conversations and going outside certain places makes me quite anxious sometimes overwhelmed. It depends on the day, sometimes I'm less anxious than other days. Talking online makes me anxious sometimes too. I avoid any video calls or phone calls usually.

 

[Bigpink]

I have not much social skills and have very little interaction with others. Though when required in certain situations I can do an approximation of a functioning human being and then get back in my box.

 

[disillusionment]

I feel you, I can't connect to people either. I've become severely isolated. Before, I used to have a few friends, but they were shallow friendships. Also, every time I'd hang with them or hang with anyone at all, I'd get told "why are you so awkward" "why are you so quiet" "loosen up" etc. Hearing that made me really not want to try to connect to anyone anymore. I don't know how to talk to people. I used to mimic what people said in TV shows and I'd end up realizing later that it was totally inappropriate for the situation.

 

[Seraph_Miku]

The actual talking and socializing with people is not the hard part in my opinion.
However, getting to meet people feels like you are applying for some kind of senior position in a big corporation. Constantly having to text/call people because they are too lazy, too forgetful or just don't care enough about you to text back. Constantly having to kiss ass because as soon as you start talking about something that the other person is not 100% invested in, you just get ghosted. Trying to meetup just to talk or have fun feels like climbing the Everest because most people nowadays have the mindset "Try to play hard to get, so that the other person feels more attached to you" or some kind of bullshit like that.

But when you actually meet, it's usually fun. The work you have to put into it is killing my mental however...

 

[Makko]

I could never consider people the same species as me, even though I interact with them a lot almost every day.

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

The actual talking and socializing with people is not the hard part in my opinion.
However, getting to meet people feels like you are applying for some kind of senior position in a big corporation. Constantly having to text/call people because they are too lazy, too forgetful or just don't care enough about you to text back. Constantly having to kiss ass because as soon as you start talking about something that the other person is not 100% invested in, you just get ghosted. Trying to meetup just to talk or have fun feels like climbing the Everest because most people nowadays have the mindset "Try to play hard to get, so that the other person feels more attached to you" or some kind of bullshit like that.

But when you actually meet, it's usually fun. The work you have to put into it is killing my mental however...

This is so true. I don't know anyone in my city and around a year ago I actually tried to put in effort and meet someone/people. Just keeping up with the standard sort of messaging back and forth and keeping up conversation and trying to come off appealing or personable is so fucking exhausting. I couldn't do it for more than a day, and I don't know how I ever did it like a decade ago when I could.

And if the other person isn't feeling the same, there's a million other people for them to talk to while you struggle to connect with just one

 

[whywere]

Heavens, I am the same as you @int5 as far as I have tried for over 60 years to try and connect with people. I was at the same firm for almost 30 years., got laid off, thank you covid 19 for that, and I always had trouble fitting in. I was always given projects all over the world where I did not have to talk and/or work with a lot of people. In my private life, I never have had much luck with folks as with BPD and the major depression, it always was/is like humm, later gator! So I keep trying as far as I would like a friend some where down the road of life. Walter

 

[Seraph_Miku]

This is so true. I don't know anyone in my city and around a year ago I actually tried to put in effort and meet someone/people. Just keeping up with the standard sort of messaging back and forth and keeping up conversation and trying to come off appealing or personable is so fucking exhausting. I couldn't do it for more than a day, and I don't know how I ever did it like a decade ago when I could.

And if the other person isn't feeling the same, there's a million other people for them to talk to while you struggle to connect with just one

A decade ago it was probably easier since you were younger. The older you get, the harder it becomes to bond because people seem to have more differences and you can't just become friends because you like [insert band here], [insert movie here], [insert hobby here].

Also, the possibility nowadays of talking to other people 24/7 via messengers isn't helpful at all. The overwhelming flow of distractions in form of ads, new useless shit, notifications on your phone every 5 minutes is smothering the human side of today's interactions. There is nothing special anymore about meeting new people when you know you will be replaced as soon as you leave their place.

 

[Tav]

I cant relate to people, feel disconnected from society

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I cant relate to people, feel disconnected from society

Me too

I'm definitely feeling the lack of communication and connection with people. When I'm around people is when I feel the loneliest. Even right now I'm nervous to post. Just because of my own insecurities.

It's very lonely

 

[ollo]

I avoid speaking with people. I can go to the store, walk around the city, buy cigarettes but that's about it. I can't work or socialize, I feel so disconnected with the world and feel I've gone insane. It kills me that I've spent 17 years in the educational system and didn't learn how to communicate with people and have almost zero social intelligence. When I tried to open up to my psychiatrist when I still had some hope, he said to me: I can't help you I can only give you pills to block your thoughts, I wish I punched him in the head then.

I think u went to the wrong person(psychiatry), u need a psychologist

 

[forrrest]

I'm sorry you had that Psychiatrist. That was really shitty of them. I, unfortunately, can relate. I desperately crave social interactions with people, I really do want to be with them. Yet. I'm absolutely terrified of saying anything to them. The idea of opening up to them is terrifying. Even the closest people in my life don't really know much about me. It doesn't help that I treat myself like shit for not being able to do so. I ruined my high school experience because of this. I'm terrified I'll do the same for the rest of my life as well. I often wonder if I'm the same creature as the people around me. I feel so isolated and lonely. I can't tell if it's me or them. Having known myself my whole life, I bet it's me :/

 

[JustLosingMyself]

When I tried to open up to my psychiatrist when I still had some hope, he said to me: I can't help you I can only give you pills to block your thoughts, I wish I punched him in the head then.

Find a competent psychiatrist or therapist, or one who can spend the time and resources withh you. These things can be taught and learned, but it takes time patience and dedication

 

[Seraph_Miku]

I'm sorry you had that Psychiatrist. That was really shitty of them. I, unfortunately, can relate. I desperately crave social interactions with people, I really do want to be with them. Yet. I'm absolutely terrified of saying anything to them. The idea of opening up to them is terrifying. Even the closest people in my life don't really know much about me. It doesn't help that I treat myself like shit for not being able to do so. I ruined my high school experience because of this. I'm terrified I'll do the same for the rest of my life as well. I often wonder if I'm the same creature as the people around me. I feel so isolated and lonely. I can't tell if it's me or them. Having known myself my whole life, I bet it's me :/

For me it's the other way around. I can open up to people I have met like 2 days ago. Of course I don't tell everything but just bits and pieces to see how they react.

Most people are understandable but deep down we both know that they don't really care. This also doesn't change when you know people for longer - except if you are lucky finding that 1 in a million person who weathers the storm with you. I always tried to be that 1 in a million person when my best friend broke up with his ex and was super depressed. I drunk with him, I listened to him, I tried to build him up, I was there for him.
Now when the roles have changed (granted, I didn't break up with anybody - I just want somebody to care about me), he doesn't even bother to contact me after I tried reaching out.

I doubt that you would feel less isolated and lonely when you open up. For a moment, yes, but in the long run it wouldn't feel any different.

 

[Justnyc]

Anyone here in nyc

 

[ncmxm]

I feel you, I can't connect to people either. I've become severely isolated. Before, I used to have a few friends, but they were shallow friendships. Also, every time I'd hang with them or hang with anyone at all, I'd get told "why are you so awkward" "why are you so quiet" "loosen up" etc. Hearing that made me really not want to try to connect to anyone anymore. I don't know how to talk to people. I used to mimic what people said in TV shows and I'd end up realizing later that it was totally inappropriate for the situation.

I feel you so much. It's so frustrating when people say this "don't be shy" shit, like how in the fuck is that supposed to help, it just makes me feel even more like a freak. It's almost like people do it to make you feel worse or make fun of you.

If you want to I can try being your friend, I only have some online friends now

 

[disillusionment]

I feel you so much. It's so frustrating when people say this "don't be shy" shit, like how in the fuck is that supposed to help, it just makes me feel even more like a freak. It's almost like people do it to make you feel worse or make fun of you.

If you want to I can try being your friend, I only have some online friends now

Yeah, saying stuff like that just makes me feel worse about myself. I'd like to be your friend on here

 

[Taki]

I get super anxious going out in public other than groceries. I'm totally phobic about running into someone I know or even being seen. I feel like all my flaws are blatantly obvious when I'm in public, especially since I'm always out by myself.