i can't believe it's my fault for being depressed

[404]

i really want to blame other people for making me suffer a lot but after thinking about it a lot it's all my fault

my attitude, my appearance, everything about me is horrible

i really really wish i could blame everyone that gave me trauma back then but i probably deserve all of it

i don't think i even have the right to vent about stuff like this

can't put into words how much i hate myself and just living in general

 

[MeltingBrain]

i really really wish i could blame everyone that gave me trauma back then but i probably deserve all of it

Why do you say that ? Did you do something ?

 

[404]

Why do you say that ? Did you do something ?

i was being rude to the people who tried to "discipline" me constantly back then

after a while i realized that they're kinda right about doing that and ever since i felt extremely guilty

in my defense though those people hurt me physically and they kept shouting at me which made me hate them and traumatized

i think the pros outweigh the cons in this case-

 

[MeltingBrain]

It must be awful to feel the way you do . Maybe I am missing some details but if they traumatized you physically , it makes sense to be rude back to them .

 

[flyingrabbitt]

i was being rude to the people who tried to "discipline" me constantly back then

after a while i realized that they're kinda right about doing that and ever since i felt extremely guilty

This is actually extremely common in cases where people are being abused. It's called the fight response and it's your brains way of trying to protect you, I understand the guilt honestly because I struggle with similar but please remember you were the victim in this situation trying to keep safe the best you could even if you didn't understand it, it was never your fault.

 

[chahan.trading]

As long as you decide to continue living, chances to improve and change is still available.

Late will never come as you as you are breathing.

I wish you courage to face everything head on.

 

[angel31]

I doesnt have to be ur fault, it doesnt have to be noones fault… what they did to u was horrible and sometimes shit just happens… i hope that ull feel better soon :)
(btw i love ur username its smart af)
Sending u hugs and love <3

 

[Jolene79]

It's not your fault at all, not one bit. We are not supposed to be shouted at and endure it without a consequence to that. Not one bit of it is your fault