Venting I can't bear this loneliness and suffering anymore

[The Disqualified]

I just took a look back at my life and I just feel so suicidal today. I lived alone and rejected my whole life.
I feel so alone right now.
I've talked to some people, but it doesn't matter at the end of the day. I am all alone.

I am a horrible failure. All I want is to die

 

[chillino]

Hey, how does it come that you feelso lonely although you ve talked to some people?

 

[The Disqualified]

Hey, how does it come that you feelso lonely although you ve talked to some people?

I meant I sometimes interacted with them casually when I went to study in college and what not.

But I don't have friends I talk to regularly or go out with. I spend my life mostly alone in my room.
It has been like this ever since I was a small child in kindergarten. I was always the quiet kid in the corner, so I wasted all my youthful years in pain and isolation. It is a horrible feeling.

So I don't have close connections to anyone and have no community to speak of. This is what I meant.

 

[chillino]

I see! And I deeply resonate with you. However I come to realise that people find other peopme to connect through shared experiences. So maybe you can join a hiking group or a dramagroup or something like this? People who meet each other regularly.
I know it is hard, but maybe you can give it a try.
Or you could start a group with your interest
How old are you?

 

[The Disqualified]

I see! And I deeply resonate with you. However I come to realise that people find other peopme to connect through shared experiences. So maybe you can join a hiking group or a dramagroup or something like this? People who meet each other regularly.
I know it is hard, but maybe you can give it a try.
Or you could start a group with your interest
How old are you?

I am just very depressed right now. It is much bigger than just meeting others. I can't process my whole life.
I don't know any group I could join right now. There are definitely groups out there, but I am tired. I just want to rot in bed right now.

I am 20 years old. But I don't care about my age. I lived through too much suffering already.

 

[chillino]

You need to go out into the world to experience it and to feel less lonely. And it wont be easy but there are a lot of interesting people out there
And maybe you can get in touch with some new ones
I do understand you! But you are really young, there is still time to change so much. I am 27 and I spent my youth rotting in bed... it destroyed so much. Dont give up already. I believe in you. And yes, it is okay to have bed days and also to suffer, but you are in charge. There is always a chance and you can always choose to change your life.
I hope you treat yourself nicely and give yourself a chance.

p.s. i hope you dont misunderstand me, I do understand your suffering
And that I am so lonely in my life right now is due to my inaction, thats just how life works. Dont let depression or sth else destroy your life

 

[Passenger4224]

I meant I sometimes interacted with them casually when I went to study in college and what not.

But I don't have friends I talk to regularly or go out with. I spend my life mostly alone in my room.
It has been like this ever since I was a small child in kindergarten. I was always the quiet kid in the corner, so I wasted all my youthful years in pain and isolation. It is a horrible feeling.

So I don't have close connections to anyone and have no community to speak of. This is what I meant.

Having no friends is the biggest pain. I had the same issue about 2-3 yrs ago when I was your age. Heck, even your username sounds like something I would think up. Are you me? lol

What have you tried so far? Do you have any interests?

I may CTB in the coming weeks, but in the meantime, message me if you would like to chat :)