
Outandproud
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- Oct 17, 2021
- 174
Just got out to the yard to smoke and i imagine him beig in front of me, standing fully clothed, his face just like it was, took a step closer to see his eyes, my hands were shaking, didnt say anything. Just wanting to look closer at his eyes and wondered if he is actually there looking at me back. I miss him in a selfish way, but i know hes better wherever he is now, no more suffering for him. I kind of kidnapped my own self inside my house for a few years now. Like i tried to make emotional connections out there and fail.. theres no much people for me just my mum that is staying here at my place for a few days. I dont socialice much, dont see the point. When my mum dies and my cats dies ill be really alone in the world, that scares me. I dont know how i will go on with out loosing my mind. I hope i could stil see her ghost and she could look me back. Who knows? Maybe is possible not just my imagination.