Unattainable666
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2023
- 1,346
I've been on this site for a while I've met some of the nicest, most loving people I've ever met. I've read their stories and cried, knowing how much pain they were in. I'm not sure how one individual can hurt so much. Anyone who has read anything I've posted here knows how much I hate the state (NM) I live in. I've lived in almost every state and overseas as well, so I do know good from bad. I've been here two years - it has been a living hell for me. No one wants to be a friend to someone who isn;t chipper every moment of the day, who has panic attacks in public, who wants to die. It's too much for them. They live in a fantasy world where everything is great, their lives are filled with family and friends. I've been ostracized, rejected, humiliated and unloved my entire life. How I've lasted this long is beyond my comprehension. I was supposed to move next month to a new job, new state, supposedly a new beginning. But it wont be that at all. It will be the same shit show, somewhat like Ground Hogs Day. I believe I'll head home for my final curtain call. Arrangements are made, hopefully I can find some semblance of peace and be with my Dad and my little girl finally. Sorry to be such a downer at such a festive time of year (I'm being a smart ass here), but you all are my family and I know you care about me and if you dont, well, that's ok too.