Lavenia
Member
- Sep 1, 2025
- 5
To me personally, no pain. Slight headache and mostly dizziness, sure, but that's normal with hypoxia, I think? Nothing stabbing and you can always take ibuprofen for it. Usually, I get cold sweat, my vision gets darker, my tongue tastes bitter and then just drop unconscious somewhere. Sometimes it feels like the switch inside my head is flipped off instantly, sometimes feels like someone is dialing down my consciousness lower and lower (I don't know how to describe it). Depends on how much you consume it, I guess. It's a bit scary if it's your first time fainting but I've been doing it for a while now I'm so used to the sensation.
I don't feel shortness of breath though, maybe I never take enough to cause that effect? Will go unconscious within 15-20 minutes after small sips and usually faster when standing up. Don't forget to fast or it won't work or worse, you'll get accident in the form of bowel movement (I'm sorry for TMI, but I feel like i should warn people about this). Although, I will always feel better after lying down and would regain consciousness but my oxygen level will still drop with 82 being the lowest (last week, I took a bit too much and had to throw up some). Even at this level, I still don't feel bad headache or shortness of breath (I've tried to overdose on Ramipril and Diltiazem long time ago, those gave me horrible shortness of breath for hours so I know how it feels like). Regular nasal cannula doesn't work to increase the oxygen level but rebreather mask does work albeit very slowly.
I'm going to CTB next month with combination of all of my morphine sulfate, SN and the rest of the meds I've been gathering. I'm tired of hoping that things will change. Maybe I'll make a post when the time comes.
If you're considering this method, please do your own research first and I pray that you will find hope and change your mind because nobody deserves to die by their own hand.
No, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you see it, haha. They did bloodwork each time I was admitted to the ER and found nothing suspicious. I feel like this is because I'm from third world country and SN suicide case isn't very well known here (SN itself isn't illegal here) or maybe they just don't care all that much. They do find my low oxygen level and 'sludgy' blood odd and rather concerning. My nails would always be bluish (though, only for few hours) so I wear nail polish and wear dark lipstick to be safe. And thank you for your kind words!
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