Venting I am unlovable

[auti]

As much as I hate venting I really need to talk about this. Nobody fucking likes me. Nobody wants me around. Everytime I think I am making a new friend they find a reason to go against me. I get that I'm a disappointment but why is everyone so cruel to me? I wish someone saw me as something more than just an inconvenience or a burden. I know I can be a good person if I just had the chance. I can't do anything right I know I'm such a fuck up I just wish someone actually loved me why am I so unlovable? Why does everyone act like they will be happier if I am gone? I really wanna live so badly but it's so fucking excruciating I can't keep doing this. I'm so worthless. Being autistic and traumatized is just hell and it'll never get better so just fuck me I guess. I can't take more heartbreak. I almost ctb again today but I'm such a coward I didn't do it I can't even get that right I need it to stop.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

I feel you deeply. But tbh most people aint shit either and the way they treat you is more a reflection on them. Hope you can find peace within yourself and someday will meet the right ones (I'm cynical but I'm sure they out there)

 

[auti]

I feel you deeply. But tbh most people aint shit either and the way they treat you is more a reflection on them. Hope you can find peace within yourself and someday will meet the right ones (I'm cynical but I'm sure they out there)

I hope you are right all I want is to belong somewhere like I never have before :(

 

[Macedonian1987]

As much as I hate venting I really need to talk about this. Nobody fucking likes me. Nobody wants me around. Everytime I think I am making a new friend they find a reason to go against me. I get that I'm a disappointment but why is everyone so cruel to me? I wish someone saw me as something more than just an inconvenience or a burden. I know I can be a good person if I just had the chance. I can't do anything right I know I'm such a fuck up I just wish someone actually loved me why am I so unlovable? Why does everyone act like they will be happier if I am gone? I really wanna live so badly but it's so fucking excruciating I can't keep doing this. I'm so worthless. Being autistic and traumatized is just hell and it'll never get better so just fuck me I guess. I can't take more heartbreak. I almost ctb again today but I'm such a coward I didn't do it I can't even get that right I need it to stop.

Oh God I can relate to so much you just wrote. People treat me exactly the same as they treat you. This world/planet isn't built for us autistic people. This is one of the main two reasons why I will ctb soon (the other reason being chronic pain)

 

[delinquentsandwich]

I feel that being born non-neurotypical is just a ticket to hell
especially with no resources

my life was destined to fail from the start