Story I am tired.

[ArtisticJasper]

I have been dealing with suicidal depression my entire life. My first attempt at 15. I lived through horrific physical, emotional and sexual abuse through my childhood and teens. Suffered abuse as a full service sex worker in my early 20s. Hung myself later in my 20s and EMTs somehow brought me back only to suffer so much more abuse and assaults from people. Tried jumping off a bridge and a passing driver jumped out and grabbed me before I could. Being trans has just added to the amount of stress and abuse I experience on top of just the mental health issues. Every time docs and shrinks would tell me that there is so much in life and that things will get better and to keep trying. I am on disability because I can't work which means my income is fixed and it takes everything to make ends meet. I am not a year into a court case where I was arrested and charged for a crime I didn't do( i know everyone says this but I am being honest here) that has left me friendless because being charged was enough for people to not even talk to me. I am tired of constantly having to fight to exist not in some kind of pain. SN looks to be the method I am going to pursue. I have not picked a CTB time but I am thinking before the new year. Still have to get things in order. I am ready to get some rest.

 

[Afterglow]

You've been through so much. Its okay to feel tired. You didnt deserve all that pain. I just want you to know that there are people reading your words who relate, understand, and care. If you ever need someone to listen, feel free to reach out.