I am tired of being an outsider

[FireFox]

I have been an outsider pretty much most of my life ( frequent school bullying, wanting to fit in but always struggling to fit in anywhere, I don't see things the way other people do).

I cant relate to people in my age group especially women my age. Most women my age have had the first boyfriend and lost their virginity when they were teeangers. I have never been in relationship and I am still a virgin . Women my age have this strong sense of sister hood where as I have always felt excluded by women. Most young people my age are very left wing and massive government intervention whereas I am more of a libertarian who believes people should have more say our their lives and communities without interference from the government. I support government intervention only to protect the vunlerable members of society ie Disabled, elderly, children etc.

I am anti war, anti lockdown however people think I am crazy.

It's so lonely
I wish I was like everyone else. What I mean is just be able to easily conform, follow and just fit in without difficulty.

If I just managed to fit in more with society I wouldn't want to catch the bus as I will know where I belong and never feel lonely again.

 

[Werewolf.]

I am all most of those things too. And I'm also brown! Not that it matters, just saw you mention it. I'm a man though.

 

[Panna]

It's painful, watching everyone else getting along, getting into relationships, even just going out in large groups of friends loudly proclaiming to the world how special they are to be apart of such a event. The worst part is how hard it is to try and work past that alone. I'm sorry you're feeling that feel, it's a feel best not felt.

 

[meetapple]

I too struggle to conform. It is hard to perceive but conformity doesn't lead to happiness. If you do a search on Google for how to conform you will actually find more articles on how to be a non conformist. It is difficult to be non conformist, no doubt.

 

[one.way.out]

I don't think people who conform are necessarily more happy, but they are definitely less alone. It's definitely easier to get through difficult times when you have other people supporting you.

 

[Pluto]

I relate to what you are saying.

When people are neurotypical (i.e., no autism or PTSD or whatever) or when they are at least given the right advice and support, life seems pretty breezy compared to us. The level of pain in watching others have so much fun, experiences, intimacy and excitement while we rot to death is a pain so vast that it seems incurable, and I struggle with it every day.

But I will give some constructive advice: if trying to attract a partner, be open, do research, be ready to change and learn to tune into what they actually want (such as light-hearted, playful interactions). And if the symptoms of Asperger's or similar are relatable, see if you can be given support in your area to start to banish the darkness of this curse.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I can relate to this. I'm a man, but I never had a girlfriend.
I hate left-wings talk, although I'm not sided with right-wing opinions either.

I'm an outsider as well. And frankly, even here I feel a bit of an outsider.
I can't seem to share my thoughts properly, maybe it's the language barrier, I don't know.
I just don't know how to engage with people. I wish it was different.

So, I understand you. I sorry, you also have to deal with this.

 

[GreenMile]

I used to walk around housing estates at night and look through the windows of houses where the curtains stayed open, look at the people in there with their happy 'normal' life's and wonder why I couldn't have that.

In the last year I've had under an hour total face-to-face time with anyone and most of that has been unpleasant.

Loneliness is a killer.

 

[logan]

It's okay if you go your own way - even if it's different.

Of course, you will often meet resistance.
But there are certainly people who think and feel like you.

It is just not so easy to find them.

 

[chocolatebar]

I have always been an outsider and I relate to most things you say. However, I don't want to fit in the society, because I don't think that "normal" life would please me.

If I just managed to fit in more with society I wouldn't want to catch the bus as I will know where I belong and never feel lonely again.

But this phrase you say is interesting. So, you don't really want to ctb, but to live in a place where you feel like you belong. Is that right?

 

[FuneralCry]

It is understandable how you feel. If we perceive ourselves to be an outsider, it can be isolating, feeling as though we are disconnected from others. I'm sorry to hear you are suffering, I wish you well.

 

[FireFox]

I am all most of those things too. And I'm also brown! Not that it matters, just saw you mention it. I'm a man though.

WereWolf Virtual hug it is not easy being a brown man. It is hard.

Sometimes I wish I had a blonde hair and blue eyes instead of being a born a brown female with black hair and brown eyes.

We have this dating program in the UK called love island. When I see most of the female constenstants with blonde hair and blue eyes I worry men will never find me attractive if I don't like the women on the show.

We live in a shallow society that values people's beauty more than their personality and kindness of their heart. The amounts of comments I have seen online about an attractive woman dying the people in the comments always talk about how pretty she was.

It is sad because beauty fades with age or can be cruelly snatched ie disfigurement. A person kindness of a heart lives on and touches many lives. People are more than thier physical beauty and appearance.

I know if I was born with born with blonde hair and blue eyes I would be in the majority of society no longer the minority. Life would be easier no more worrying about racism, men will find me more attractive as i conform to societal beauty standards

As i grow older I now realise being sensitive that I am , altruistic, my interest in writing , travel and culture, love of sci fi and dystopian TV will never be enough for this world. My quirky personality stand out always.

I don't belong here

I have always been an outsider and I relate to most things you say. However, I don't want to fit in the society, because I don't think that "normal" life would please me.

But this phrase you say is interesting. So, you don't really want to ctb, but to live in a place where you feel like you belong. Is that right?

But this phrase you say is interesting. So, you don't really want to ctb, but to live in a place where you feel like you belong. Is that right?

I am always in the middle i don't want to die but at the same time I don't want to live either. Living in this world I feel so weak and incompetent. Everyone around me has thier place in this world and have so much happening in their lives my friends I went university with are now working and live on their own, I know people who I went to school with that are so successful with their lives since leaving school ie marriage, career, children all before the age of 30. We live in a culture that constantly magnifies youth success especially within a persons early 20s or even teens. I feel like such a failure I am have not got the life most these young celebrities or famous public figures ie congresswan AOC, people on the forbes under 30 powerlist have

I have nothing going for me. It is so hard when everyone around me is doing something huge with their lives since leaving school and I done nothing except graduate and be on welfare because I struggled to find a job.

I feel so immature for my age and I just want to cry. Living in this world all I feel is " I can't do it"

I am not strong

I can relate to this. I'm a man, but I never had a girlfriend.
I hate left-wings talk, although I'm not sided with right-wing opinions either.

I'm an outsider as well. And frankly, even here I feel a bit of an outsider.
I can't seem to share my thoughts properly, maybe it's the language barrier, I don't know.
I just don't know how to engage with people. I wish it was different.

So, I understand you. I sorry, you also have to deal with this.

Thanks. When it comes to politics I am massive outsider on how I see world issues. I dont have a party I support as my beliefs vary.

My family watch CNN and believe everything on CNN. In the UK people can watch CNN if they have SKY TV. My family believe Trump made America a hateful country with all this division. I HATE TRUMP

When it comes to politics in the UK and USA I believe the division was ALWAYS THERE before Trump or brexit even happened. America and the UK were both dysfunctional nations. The problem was the media , politicians, academia and all the institutions in society just didn't care to report these issues or even have a serious discussion.

People like trump and farage managed to take advantage of the situation.

I told people the left should look at the reasons why Trump and Brexit were appealing to the general public. These issues are very very complex. The Democrat party and UK Labour Party have taken for granted their voters especially those who are working class and have done nothing to improve their communities they live in.

I believe to tackle social problems in society the root of the problem needs to addressed. How do you find the cure if you can't find the source of the disease.

I can relate to this. I'm a man, but I never had a girlfriend.
I hate left-wings talk, although I'm not sided with right-wing opinions either.

I'm an outsider as well. And frankly, even here I feel a bit of an outsider.
I can't seem to share my thoughts properly, maybe it's the language barrier, I don't know.
I just don't know how to engage with people. I wish it was different.

So, I understand you. I sorry, you also have to deal with this.

Thanks. When it comes to politics I am massive outsider on how I see world issues. I dont have a party I support as my beliefs vary.

My family watch CNN and believe everything on CNN. In the UK people can watch CNN if they have SKY TV. My family believe Trump made America a hateful country with all this division. I HATE TRUMP

When it comes to politics in the UK and USA I believe the division was ALWAYS THERE before Trump or brexit even happened. America and the UK were both dysfunctional nations. The problem was the media , politicians, academia and all the institutions in society just didn't care to report these issues or even have a serious discussion.

People like trump and farage managed to take advantage of the situation.

I told people the left should look at the reasons why Trump and Brexit were appealing to the general public. These issues are very very complex. The Democrat party and UK Labour Party have taken for granted their voters especially those who are working class and have done nothing to improve their communities they live in.

I believe to tackle social problems in society the root of the problem needs to addressed. How do you find the cure if you can't find the source of the disease.

I used to walk around housing estates at night and look through the windows of houses where the curtains stayed open, look at the people in there with their happy 'normal' life's and wonder why I couldn't have that.

In the last year I've had under an hour total face-to-face time with anyone and most of that has been unpleasant.

Loneliness is a killer.

GreenMile Big virtual hug for you . When I see couples in public together I get upset because it reminds me of ALL the cruel rejection I experienced by guys in the past I liked. It's a reminder of how I was never desired by men in a way that super attractive women in society get.

All I wanted was a man to deeply love me for me and give me affection. I take an interest in guys but don't seem interested in me as a person

Being single is so lonely espically as I have lived with it all my life through no choice of my own. It gets harder with age.

I hope you find happiness and the peace you desire.

 

[FireFox]

It's painful, watching everyone else getting along, getting into relationships, even just going out in large groups of friends loudly proclaiming to the world how special they are to be apart of such a event. The worst part is how hard it is to try and work past that alone. I'm sorry you're feeling that feel, it's a feel best not felt.

In lockdown couples complained on social media and various lifestyle blogs about not being able to see their partners during lockdown. I feel bad for saying this but I didn't feel sorry for them.

Before covid19 society constantly promoted relationships and if anyone didn't have a boyfriend or lost their virginity that person was made to feel something was wrong with them. The same couples expressing their upset at not having to see their partner during lockdown were same couples who constantly rubbed their relationships in our faces, instragram, etc. The same couples that told single people " being single is not bad" or " you are not missing much not being in a relationship"

These couples believed they were special and superior to the single people in the population.

I am upset because these couples in lockdown apart from each other were experiencing what we singles expressed for years . The absence of intimacy, the uncertainty of ever meeting someone again and the loneliness.

Society and these couples never cared because it never effected them.

 

[Sebuet]

People are scum who only look out for themselves. Im very isolated from society and spend 99.99% of my time inside in front of a screen. For years I had a few people who I could do things with, who'd visit me to get high. As soon as things started improving for me and it wasn't in those people's interest to keep me around, they dropped me like the snakes they are. Fuck people. I'm done trying to fit in this sick society.

 

[chocolatebar]

I am always in the middle i don't want to die but at the same time I don't want to live either. Living in this world I feel so weak and incompetent. Everyone around me has thier place in this world and have so much happening in their lives my friends I went university with are now working and live on their own, I know people who I went to school with that are so successful with their lives since leaving school ie marriage, career, children all before the age of 30. We live in a culture that constantly magnifies youth success especially within a persons early 20s or even teens. I feel like such a failure I am have not got the life most these young celebrities or famous public figures ie congresswan AOC, people on the forbes under 30 powerlist have

I have nothing going for me. It is so hard when everyone around me is doing something huge with their lives since leaving school and I done nothing except graduate and be on welfare because I struggled to find a job.

I feel so immature for my age and I just want to cry. Living in this world all I feel is " I can't do it"

I am not strong

I never liked the idea of social success, because it implies on many people "failing". We're all decaying creatures and no one has any reason to feel better than the others. There's no reason even for feeling better than animals. The only thing we can do with our lives is to try to enjoy some moments before we die.
I think you're comparing yourself to the others in an unhealthy way. Your life doesn't have to be good for the people around you, but to yourself.

I'm a low achiever as well and, among everything that frustrates me in this world, this doesn't concern me anymore.

Would you like If I contact you via pm?

 

[Makko]

But this phrase you say is interesting. So, you don't really want to ctb, but to live in a place where you feel like you belong. Is that right?

I doubt there are many people who want to suicide for the sake of suicide. They want to suicide because what they want in life is unavailable to them, either because their circumstances don't allow it, or because the nature of the world doesn't allow it.

 

[Bigpink]

I do everything alone, movies, theatre, comedy clubs, pubs.

Loneliness is hard, it's a way of being for me. People aren't that interested in me. I have done the couple thing before, don't think I really want to again and not convinced anyone would be interested.

 

[chocolatebar]

I doubt there are many people who want to suicide for the sake of suicide. They want to suicide because what they want in life is unavailable to them, either because their circumstances don't allow it, or because the nature of the world doesn't allow it.

Well... maybe I'm an outsider among the outsiders, because I want to suicide because I don't like nature and it's "rules".

 

[Pure]

I'm glad I saw this lol. Last night I went out for drinks with classmates and half of them brought their partners with them. Made me feel like shit over the fact that I'm so lonely I barely can make and keep friends much less meet someone whose remotely interested in me.

So I understand. Embarrassing my being 24 and I have the same romantic experiences as a middle schooler (ie none)

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i can relate women have always kind of looked down on me for being eccentric, i am anti war and anti military, relationships are a little different because i'm gay/don't have kids, don't want them... but yeah i definitely don't come close to fitting in.

 

[Shrek]

I feel much the same way friend. I am very isolated and i cannot bring myself to be bothered and annoyed by other people. I am socially akward, and it becomes a bad circle. The more people i see, the more they reject me, and by rejecting me they make me more awkward.

My only advice is becoming consumed by some interest and meeting people (as a bonus) that way, through conventions, clubs and the like...
It takes the focus away from the socializing part, and puts it towards a task or a project. And you allready have something in commnon to talk about.

I joined my local libertarian party, and i only meet them a few times every year, but there is free pizza and wild people there, and i registered as a candidate so i can vote for myself as a f-you to society.

But you can cultivate other interest too. Some form of sport helps the mood, and the body. Just learning how to run or throwing rocks at targets is something that is fun and can be practiced. I use my slingshot to hit stuff a few times a week. Youtube has a million things that you can give a try.

I have found i don't need a romantic relationship in my life. I get by with dealing with my own challenges. And dogs can be your best friend if you have the option. I have a goldfish that i care for and envy for his low intelligence.