idelttoilfsadness21
turning my back towards death
- Jan 6, 2025
- 236
It makes me happy I never gave up on my hope to find my ctb when I was very lonely when my ctbing friends were not available
Only had three attempts but I was so confused and the first time I think I was stupid and used my vpn and don't remember which email I used but it was hard just getting here as I wanted to get help on my plan as this would be my 5th attempt if I get stuck in this terrifying limbo again
I am so happy and after a week of being here (I worked so hard to not post this early until the begin. of the weekend), I am finally home knowing that I will take 2025 with ease being around great friends and family that I can vent to and not feel bad about especially after I keep making a fool of myself and hurting on the inside from trauma from bad years, and a lot has happened, but being here makes me feel like it brought me a sense of purpose and delight again, especially as I am recovering and taking charge of my traumas by getting there to my goal of ctb…
Also I am new and this is my introduction post I forgot to make
I have been around approximately for a week, I am not a child, and I have adhd but I love get it if you have been seeing me lately venting my butt off, sounding like a child and high pitched
I suffer from a lot of things but I am in a mental battle with my physical health more than my mental health these days but I don't know when I'd give out yet…
I came from SW on Reddit and heard about this place anonymously when I was actively finding a community of my own and have been permanently banned a couple of times to now being banned evicted for sharing my feelings and complaining about my experiences and being actively suicidal and thinking I am promoting suicide and what not because it's difficult. That can't be further from the truth and wish to apologize for that if I do come off as that, especially as I suck at this.
I want to share I don't promote suicide but if you wanna ctb you are welcome to choose to go and I will support you, I wanna be gone, I support those who are like me, and if I am in distress somedays in the comments I can't help it and what I say, but I will learn the best I can to not be a fool to anyone and to motivate people enough to be at peace with themselves especially as this is my last chance at feeling something as I go numb in and out of this world to just finally be gone through my ctb.
So, this is my post, and I hope you catch me around and vent if you ever wanna chat, as I have time and I am so bored and don't know when I'm gonna ctb, but I think about it so damn much and want to be gone this year.
I want to share I comment a lot!! So please forgive me if I am weird
Thank you SaSa for existing and for appreciating my cries for help as I never thought I'd be here and engage so much as fast as I did. I am so happy I could cry, especially as I am a mess.
Mention for safety for the site: I hope this doesn't make wonderers inspired to do something sneaky thinking they can bypass our heavenly gates seeing my photos, and wish to forward this message to mods as this is my Ty for finally hearing me out when I was so desperate and everyone here I am beginning to know
Only had three attempts but I was so confused and the first time I think I was stupid and used my vpn and don't remember which email I used but it was hard just getting here as I wanted to get help on my plan as this would be my 5th attempt if I get stuck in this terrifying limbo again
I am so happy and after a week of being here (I worked so hard to not post this early until the begin. of the weekend), I am finally home knowing that I will take 2025 with ease being around great friends and family that I can vent to and not feel bad about especially after I keep making a fool of myself and hurting on the inside from trauma from bad years, and a lot has happened, but being here makes me feel like it brought me a sense of purpose and delight again, especially as I am recovering and taking charge of my traumas by getting there to my goal of ctb…
Also I am new and this is my introduction post I forgot to make
I have been around approximately for a week, I am not a child, and I have adhd but I love get it if you have been seeing me lately venting my butt off, sounding like a child and high pitched
I suffer from a lot of things but I am in a mental battle with my physical health more than my mental health these days but I don't know when I'd give out yet…
I came from SW on Reddit and heard about this place anonymously when I was actively finding a community of my own and have been permanently banned a couple of times to now being banned evicted for sharing my feelings and complaining about my experiences and being actively suicidal and thinking I am promoting suicide and what not because it's difficult. That can't be further from the truth and wish to apologize for that if I do come off as that, especially as I suck at this.
I want to share I don't promote suicide but if you wanna ctb you are welcome to choose to go and I will support you, I wanna be gone, I support those who are like me, and if I am in distress somedays in the comments I can't help it and what I say, but I will learn the best I can to not be a fool to anyone and to motivate people enough to be at peace with themselves especially as this is my last chance at feeling something as I go numb in and out of this world to just finally be gone through my ctb.
So, this is my post, and I hope you catch me around and vent if you ever wanna chat, as I have time and I am so bored and don't know when I'm gonna ctb, but I think about it so damn much and want to be gone this year.
I want to share I comment a lot!! So please forgive me if I am weird
Thank you SaSa for existing and for appreciating my cries for help as I never thought I'd be here and engage so much as fast as I did. I am so happy I could cry, especially as I am a mess.
Mention for safety for the site: I hope this doesn't make wonderers inspired to do something sneaky thinking they can bypass our heavenly gates seeing my photos, and wish to forward this message to mods as this is my Ty for finally hearing me out when I was so desperate
and everyone here I am beginning to know
