Help I am so paranoid, I cant sleep

[spectraltease]

I am very paranoid. I think there is always someone behind me who is watching me or wanting to harm me. This is getting worse and worse lately. I was never afraid to go out when it was dark, now I'm afraid of being attacked. I have a lot of fears. I don't have any friends and I don't dare to go out either, I hate summer. At most I only go out for shopping. I only open my windows at night because I'm afraid of being watched. At night I always watch my windows because I'm afraid that someone will come in.
Today I did it again and I watched a YouTube video, it was about not letting the negative manipulative voices win that only want negative things.
I stopped staring at my window and said to myself that I was safe. At that moment I heard a bang that I've never heard before. A movement at the window, something that came into my apartment. I yelled at the thing and ran towards it. It was a cat. Funny story I know but not funny for me. I'm very tired but I don't dare to go to sleep because I'm afraid it wasn't a cat.

In the last time it was always the case that I didn't want to sleep because I had so much fear. I often stay through the night so that I can sleep during the day. Does anyone else have that?

 

[failure383]

I know it's difficult to trust doctors, I would know, but maybe you would really benefit from anti-psychotic medication. I won't pretend like anti-psychotics don't absolutely suck (they will make you fat, make your thinking slow, emotionally numb sometimes, numb your sex drive, sometimes they will make your movement feel and look weird and that's just those side-effects, that are considered okay and not a reason to stop, not to mention things like akathasia and stuff like that), but they're more or less the only thing that helps with paranoia and hearing malicious voices.

Does anyone else have that?

For a long time I've been very paranoid too. Most of it is gone now, I have some paranoid thoughts here and there, but no real delusions anymore.